Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML
Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML
Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML
Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML
Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML
Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML
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Top comments
sweetcheeks0290 0
Don't you just love parents?
TittiesOrGTFO 0
omfg haha!!
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Comments (138)
lblikk 0
hahaa she's on your side
lostsoul1715 0
LMAO haha fyl indeed : )
jj79242 0
better than syrup ass
username5000 0
that is hilarious and your mom is awesome :)
bigbadtim 7
That stinks!!
Emilyluvsyou 0
literally...
imright24 0
Calm down. I'm sure they've not only heard that excuse but plenty worse. If that's the reason, that's what she should tell them, especially so they know if a bug is making the rounds.
blondymoments 2
could have been worse. she could have said u have "explosive diarrhoea" lol
hcovballer247 0
Lmfao your mother has quite a personality....
StitchedBear 0
aww that's so embarassing
cusof 0
L O L