Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML
Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML
Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML
Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML
Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML
Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML
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Top comments
sweetcheeks0290 0
Don't you just love parents?
TittiesOrGTFO 0
omfg haha!!
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Comments (138)
schwancy 2
Are you suggesting she lie? Shame!
WiseGuy79 14
Lmao It's not like they announce it to the whole school so not a big deal
starile 20
*on the loudspeaker* "Mrs. Jennings?" "Yes?" "Tommy won't be making it to homeroom today. He's got the *****." "Understood, thank you."
WiseGuy79 14
Lmao! Exactly! Now that would be a real FML for the OP
I_have_no_clue 0
LMMFAO!!!!!!!
isabella3 0
what does the second "m" stand for?
FFML_314 12
"Laugh my mother ******* ass off" That is my guess.
isabella3 0
ohh got it. I didn't think it was THAT funny ...
I_have_no_clue 0
Indeed
misfitSuperStar 0
How embarassing!!!! fyl, op!! Next time you go to the store with your Mom, loudly ask her, "Mom, do you need special cream for your external bleeding hemmorhoids?"
chili10 18
oh, revenge is sweet
catatonicsleep 17
I saw once on a website a copy of a note a parent had written when their child was sick. It had 3 attempts to spell diahreah (I can't spell it either) with each crossed out and 'the *****' written at the bottom :D
joeinthedark 18
Diarrhea. Diarrhoea is also acceptable.
WhyTheFace4 0
Are you an expert?
joeinthedark 18
At spelling things correctly? I like to be. And if I can't spell it on my own, I look it up before I submit anything so I don't look illiterate.
bluegoldfish 7
i know that story! my friend told me that ages ago she knew the guy the note was about :P
BrookeBabe92 0
Lmao, your mother is awesome. (:
joeinthedark 18
Honesty is always the best policy. Plus if you set of the precedent of having the *****, you can use it later when you just want to get out of school for a day. One must think ahead young Jedi.
bigbadtim 7
Good advice Yoda.
K_pHr3sH 0
I wouldn't step foot on that skewl anymore
LoganBballin16 0
you were on the crap can when you wrote this right!? :p
ILOVE2model 0
well at least only the teachers and the attendance office people know that's the reason.. not your classmates (: ps. lmao!