Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML
Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML
Today, my mother screamed at me because she thinks I peed on the toilet seat. Not my dad, me. I’m a girl. FML
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML
Today, at school I was sitting with a friend outside, talking about irregular periods and unshaven legs. Ten minutes into the conversation, a teacher sticks her head out the window above us and tells us to leave. We were distracting a classroom who were trying to finish a test. FML
Today, my son's "favorite" teacher went on a tirade criticizing my "awful" parenting. About two months ago, my son got her fired after he reported her to the principal for forcing him to miss out on lunch to finish a project. Apparently, that wasn't the first time she did something like that. FML
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Top comments
bennyboy111 7
what will red meat do?
btnhdude 0
it will make fun of the blood and make it feel bad about being a liquid, causing blood type OwNed 2, it's really not a rare blood type but I don't have it.
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Comments (94)
yake12 0
that's funny! on a related note, I'm from bc too :)
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
YDI for having your period. another advantage of red meat is it is an excellent source of protein
MrSassypants 34
1 lucky you and OP (well mostly OP) are from Canada because if OP was from the south because if she was rednecks would try to give her red meat. Eww. Bad mental image.
KingDingALing 9
24- That made absolutely no sense...
marylovesyou8D 7
I don't understand what you're saying, 24. Nice try, though. (:
MrSassypants 34
I meant if she was, (with a comma) rednecks would.... I put this like 7308153 times and it won't post!
sweetdreams999 0
you're ungrateful OP. I mean sure it's embarassing, but at least you mom stuck up for you. some kids don't even have mothers.
jadeniscool 0
haha I'm from BC too. email me Kay? [email protected] by any chance do u go to Charles Best Secondary...? and is the teacher that doesn't let u go out Mr.Dy or Mr. Fatass Jovo?
jessecax 0
you're a smart one...
bricksta_op 0
ops weird! haha
TheOtherNewest1 6
Even electronic brain pancake crystal elderly, eh?
booboo1234567 0
I agree! That's only embarrassing cause your young. You have a SUPER MOM! :)
Dillon000 3
bc ftw
michelleJ11 25
@57, elementary school? 1) you're too young for FML, & the Internet for the matter 2) you've given your full name, email, & school name to all of FML. I suggest you watch out for pedophiles. EDIT: whoops, I read it as elementary, pardon my mistake. #2 still stands though.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
#24 English ************! Do you speak it?!
bennyboy111 7
what will red meat do?
btnhdude 0
it will make fun of the blood and make it feel bad about being a liquid, causing blood type OwNed 2, it's really not a rare blood type but I don't have it.
btnhdude 0
btw wth happened to tokiohotel she was awesome.
magicalrubixdude 0
nothing she was just messing with them
iSitt 0
red meat has lots of blood in it, which if she eats it will give her all the raw materials to make new blood of her own
suppressed08 2
It has iron in it, which the body needs to produce Haemoglobin in re blood cells (what the oxygen binds to). During a period alot of bloody is lost, so alot of iron is lost aswell.
suppressed08 2
red*
MrSassypants 34
You're all wrong. Red meat would has blood in it making her Super Woman and Super Women never have problems! (Except for fighting crime.)
sexaaydino 14
Yeah, no
XxMoonGirlAshomi 0
sad, embarissing... u no what's worse, ur shareing this with many strangers on the Internet...
lisaaaar 0
I'm sure there are worse things than sharing an embarrassing event on the Internet. Like not being able to spell for shit for example.
habeeboburky94 0
#10 hahaha WIN! Exactly what I was thinking.
docscientist 10
it's anonymous...so not really.
lildevilpiggy 12
I love ur profile pic :)
lisaaaar 0
over-helpful mothers aren't always that helpful :(.
sports_chic 6
sucks to be u!
getonup 0
By heavy flow do you mean after it's passed you weigh a couple of lbs less?
newzealand 28
thats not OK
catatonicsleep 17
some women do gain weight due to bloating, water retention etc which will then be lost once their period is over....
cod3rEd 2
hahahaa dude that is ****** up
vansgirl327 0
that's suxs
soiheardyoufaile 4
Red meat ftw? :D
ImaginaryFoe 1
Today, I was annoyed by OP. Why? Because she's a question talker. How long is your class? If you take care of your business beforehand, are you really unable to make it through the class without a change? Double up on your protection. Is the maths teacher a female? I don't think what your mum said was so bad. She was just looking out for you and most of the discussion was probably impersonal. If she had gotten into the same conversation with a cashier or something, that would be worse somehow. The teacher has a legitimate reason to know.
suppressed08 2
Yeah. If you can be prepared for it, you should be. Alot of the girls I know used it as an excuse to bunk off. Especially swimming. The swimming teacher must have been pretty idiotic if she didn't realise it was every week..
funzcpl 0
so you say fyl because of this? sweetheart, get a real issue then post your " fml", k?! k! oh and you can make it through a class with a heavy flow.
TherapistNate 0
There were more minor ones than this. Don't comment about if it's unimportant or not, FML is also for embarrassing moments too.
jessie2564 3
I don't think that's fair of you to say. I have such extremely heavy flow that I leak after about an hour.