Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML
Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML
Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML
Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML
Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML
Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML
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Top comments
sweetcheeks0290 0
Don't you just love parents?
TittiesOrGTFO 0
omfg haha!!
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Comments (138)
scathecat 0
lol
RKftw 0
best fml in a while
hibarbie 0
all parents do embarrassing things like that to their children. it's part of life so unfortunately i must go with YDI on this one buddy, because one day you'll do embarrassing things to your children too.
StitchedBear 0
where'd my comment gooo!!?
bigredmonkeybutt 30
hahahah Mom = win. Imagine the person at the school having to write that down.
HappyPickles 11
So what was the *real* reason you weren't going to school - because you just didn't feel like it? You don't mention that you were sick, or had some other valid reason. In the absence of that information, it sounds like your mother was simply telling the truth. Get over it - and stop expecting your parents to tell your little-kid lies for you.
jrsl 2
uhm, op did have the ***** its just that he would have wanted his mom to maybe just say he has a fever or something so that its not embarrassing.
HappyPickles 11
ah - where I come from saying a person has the ***** means they're in a bad mood. So I read this as OP's mother calling up the school and saying "My child isn't coming to school because he/she is in a shitty mood". But yes, "has the *****" can also mean diarrhoea. OP is from England, so I wonder which meaning his/her mother actually intended?
ceejster 0
your mom is a beast!
hannah1203 2
Lol your mom's awesome :)
ladyluck82 9
wow....classy mom you got there.
pinoyflav 2
thats awesome