Today, my mum hit me with her car as she was backing out of the driveway, hitting my leg, and crushing my bike. For the third time this year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after failing my learner's licence twice in the previous weeks, I finally passed. As I got home, I went for a drive with my dad. I smashed my mum's car into an old lady's fence and ended up in her backyard. FML
Today, I crashed my motorbike and broke both my arms. I now have to rely on my mom and aunt taking turns to do everything for me. FML
Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML
Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML
Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, for the third time this year, my wife backed into the garage door. We’d just finally got it fixed exactly one week ago for $1800 from the last time she did it. Somehow it’s my fault. FML
Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it and onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike and crash head-first. FML
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Top comments
kendalle_fml 0
umm MOVE? why are you standing behind a car when it is backing out over and over?
timtam24 0
your mum can't drive and you have the reflexes of a rock
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Comments (148)
Sk69Dk 0
wow, well if she's never looking behond her before going, maybe she shouldn't be driving?
Macthenyfe 0
Why the f*ck does your mom still have a license? Screw that, she doesn't need a license, or to be breeding for that matter. Where the f*ck is darwin when you need him?
Obfuscation 0
How about you move and dont leave your bike behind the car. If you have the spare cash get your mum some driving lessons. Sounds like she needs them
hydro_fml 0
TDI, since you don't have the sense to move away from the back of a car with it's engine running, and leaving you possessions in the path of destruction.
Niko_Peiko_Boo 0
Ever think she was doing this on purpose....x_x C'mon! 3 times already!
FoundManyLemons 0
How does she still have a license? Damn.
crazybread101 0
hahah owwww did she get u icecream after ? if she didtn smack that ho
Clomp 0
I think your mother may be plotting to kill you.
DRY0YRD 0
I think Ludacris said it best. "Bitch, move, get out the way."
djb23 0
it's actually "Move, bitch, get out the way."
ladiidaa 0
After getting hit the first time around, I would be goddamn terrified to go anywhere near the car when she begins driving. Seriously? You should learn that by the second time at the most that your mum is a total hazard, and like any hazard, you stay the **** away. You either enjoy getting rammed by her car, or she wants you dead.