Today, my mum hit me with her car as she was backing out of the driveway, hitting my leg, and crushing my bike. For the third time this year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after failing my learner's licence twice in the previous weeks, I finally passed. As I got home, I went for a drive with my dad. I smashed my mum's car into an old lady's fence and ended up in her backyard. FML
Today, I crashed my motorbike and broke both my arms. I now have to rely on my mom and aunt taking turns to do everything for me. FML
Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML
Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML
Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, for the third time this year, my wife backed into the garage door. We’d just finally got it fixed exactly one week ago for $1800 from the last time she did it. Somehow it’s my fault. FML
Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it and onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike and crash head-first. FML
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Top comments
kendalle_fml 0
umm MOVE? why are you standing behind a car when it is backing out over and over?
timtam24 0
your mum can't drive and you have the reflexes of a rock
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Comments (148)
ellysa_fml 0
Yeah #2
smartie447 0
3rd time?? seriously?? you deserved it!
doobey07 0
Thats why women shouldn't drive!
jc21_fml 1
3 times huh? seems suspicious... maybe she is trying to kill you!
zombiepenguins26 0
Maybe you should just learn to stay out of her way when she's backing out of the driveway. Perhaps this idiocy is genetic: She can't figure out how to turn around and look out her back window, and you can't figure out how to stay out of the way of a moving car. Please do us all a favor and don't reproduce.
giganticbrain 0
HA! Agreed!
ObadiahtheSlim 2
You should probably start looking and watching for moving cars in the drive way. Remember, bikes are small and very easy to miss so you gotta be extra careful.
spillproof 0
YDI if you haven't learned after the second time.
jpd212 1
well, i mean you probably shouldve gotten out of the way. I mean, after all, it is a woman behind the wheel........
pritchard27 0
In all fairness she might be trying to kill you.
woltfire 0
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you may not be her favorite child...