Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
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Top comments
Pandasaur 0
FYL for having such an immature mother. o.o That's unbelievable.
Jess_Love 0
wait why was she cleaning out your underwear drawer?
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Comments (222)
Antonio718 0
Wow fake as shit. This is a pretty generic one. The only difference is the facebook part... "Today, my mom was cleaning my sock drawer..... "Today I was looking for socks in my moms sock drawer.... "Today, my mom found..... Similar....
Luckster 0
So just because people share similar experiences, it means it's fake.
kacie13 1
Don't feel bad or anything. You're mother is just really immature. Don't listen to her. Be the bigger person. :)
zpicci 0
that is hilarious. fyl
marlux 0
thats so messed up, use yur hands next time so she wouldnt find out
22jrdn55 15
idc wut u did #94 not all ppl r as gr8 as u, k so dont **** around son
plexico 4
1) Find the most disgusting, horrible guy you can. 2) **** him on your parents' bed. Mostly on your mom's side. 3) Make sure you mom finds out. If you can't get her to walk in on you at the moment of ecstasy, make sure you leave a with a huge wet spot where you mom sleeps. 4) Wipe off the guy's dick (and his ass while you are at it) with you mom's pillowcase. 5) Post a picture of the nasty guy naked on your mom;s Facebook page with the note, "Look ma, I got a guy!" Revenge taken. Mom 3, Daughter 500!
22jrdn55 15
rofl... now thats hilarious i literarly rofl
XxmidnightXx4545 0
LMFAOOO
checkthegate11 0
totally deserved it. why was your mom leaning out your underwear drawer?? and i agree with everyone else when they say if you're old enough to own a vibrator, you're old enough to do your own freakin' laundry.
Luckster 0
Did it ever occur to you that parents purposely snoop through their children's stuff?
mo_the_owl 0
fyl for having a mother that is a complete bitch
bluegrlcry 0
um im actually not ALLOWED to do my laundry. im not sure why... i think my mom thinks ill put to much soap in it
graveworm 0
go find your parents sex toys (100% sure they have them) take pictures of them post them around her work saying look what I found mother... what a ****.