Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
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Top comments
Pandasaur 0
FYL for having such an immature mother. o.o That's unbelievable.
Jess_Love 0
wait why was she cleaning out your underwear drawer?
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Comments (222)
3arl 0
ur moms weird every girl has a vibrator
Hazy_fml 0
I take it your mother is the type of bitch who never takes a hint? FYL, seriously, that's just wrong. Laughing about it once just to get past it is fine, but posting it on Facebook? That's going way too far.
suzieq57 0
Good Lord, you poor girl. Your mother should never broadcast something like that. I agree with #135, making some kind of harmless joke to get over the awkwardness is fine but discussing it with your dad and posting it on facebook is a completely terrible thing to do. She should be pleased that you use a vibrator--most girls need to figure out how to pleasure themselves before they can ever hope to have satisfying partnered sexual experiences of any kind. Not to mention what everyone else has said, that if you're young enough that your parents are still cleaning and/or snooping in your stuff, you're much better off getting it on with a vibe than some inept idiot high school quarterback. FYL.
FYL1994 0
Oh grow up for gods sake! Seriously if you're old enough 4 a f****** vibrator you're old enogh to tell ur mom to stop treating u like a baby and to stop being such a bitch. SERIOUSLY! Stand up 4 yourself.
Nightmare1 0
OMFG this is sooooo fuuny!!!! totaly sucks for you but damn thats good stuff!!! Made me lol
miso1337 0
1) Just because her mom cleaned her underwear drawer, doesnt mean she isnt old ebough to do it herself, idk about u guys but some mom's are neat freaks and will just go ahead and do it because its somthing that needs doing. 2) there really isnt an age where ur old enough to own a vibe... if i was a 13 year old girl and had a vibrator i'd be the happiest chick out there xD 3) /agree with half these comments, revenge is totally neccasarry here
clarencemanson3 0
I'D **** U!!! LOL
cani_fml 0
your mom's a bitch
jmeg_fml 0
jokes - okay telling your dad - okay posting a status on facebook - NOT OKAY that's terrible :/
cinderous 0
Like most people have said, your mother is pretty immature. She's probably just jealous because she doesn't get any from your dad anymore and is too insecure to go out and buy a vibrator of her own. Owning one is nothing to be ashamed of either; plenty of people do and they're becoming much more commonplace nowadays. I'm sure that even if your friends find out, they'll joke about it for a day or so then be over it. Like other people said, it could be worse too. You could be a guy, your parents could have reacted worse, etc. Wait for the immaturity to blow over and have some confidence in yourself.