Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, our carbon monoxide detector started beeping. My mom started freaking out and made me go stand outside so I "don't die". I stood outside for 20 minutes, it was raining and it turned out that the detector was just low on battery. FML
Today, I was home alone when I heard the carbon-monoxide detector beeping. Panicking, I grabbed my dog, ran out of my house as fast as I could, and waited outside for 3 hours for my mom to get home. Turned out the detector was just out of batteries. FML
Today, I thought I had carbon monoxide poisoning because I had the symptoms and my detector was going off. I called the fire dept, they checked me, they checked my apartment. My apartment is fine; I'm just out of shape, have high blood pressure, and don't know how to work simple electronics. FML
Today, my mom got a new furnace put in because they found out the old one was leaking carbon monoxide. This is six months after I got kicked out because I was sleeping too much, so my mom thought I was using drugs. FML
Today, at 2:47 am, my mom woke me up in a panic screaming about smelling gas and the house blowing up. Twenty minutes, two fire trucks, and a traumatized dog later, it was just the neighbors burning their mail. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I was making dinner when my smoke alarm started going off. I opened all the windows and waved a towel underneath it. After ten minutes, I realized the alarm wasn't reacting to the food. Its battery was dying. FML
Today, my smoke alarm went off. In a frenzy, I called 9-1-1 and exited my house. Several minutes later a fire truck showed up. After investigating, one of the firemen informed me I needed to change the batteries in my smoke alarm. FML
Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML
Today, there was a gas leak at work. We called the fire department, who advised us to evacuate the building. We called our manager to let her know, and her response was "Oh, don’t do that." My boss would rather let us die of carbon monoxide exposure than lose out on 3 hours of work. FML
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Top comments
water4life 0
she needs to be slapped
CleanSheets 0
Your mom clearly knew you couldn't smell it, but was just looking for a way to end your life while she made her get away in the emergancy ecsape pod that she secretly had installed into her closet several years ago.
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Comments (174)
vivjojo 4
Quit whining. You didn't die.
jasonsaied 1
lol I know this isn't an fml. nothing happened
Malinkrot 3
So you have to die for it to be a real FML? You better start yelling at all the other selfish alive people who have posted FML's...
amazinggbaby 2
I agree with 15, the point is that he COULD have died. It's dumb when people are so selective about what's an fml and what's not.
aardvarkish 17
#1 may have a point. Perhaps we should research and write FTLs for the ones that died...
msTasty_92 0
i dont mean to be a bitch, but half these FMLs aren't true and the other half are just people whining. ex: Today, I ran out of my favorite lipgloss just before the school dance. FML oh gee...your life really is ******. a ****** life is not having water, not having food, having lost a relative or a loved one, missing an opportunity of a lifetime that could've changed your life forever. and honestly this one fAKe. Those alarms arent like fire alarms..they don't been randomly...so if the alarm was ringing and you were still asleep...you would've died. dumbshit.
themixedt4pe 0
#53, This website is supposed to be funny. Do you really think anyone would visit if it was just a list of dead relatives, dead pets, starvation, and broken lives? P.S. My carbon monoxide detector beeps when the batteries are low so you know to replace them. Perhaps that's why they're not dead, and will know better next time. Potential death obviously isn't good enough for you. Personally, I'm GLAD the OP isn't dead.
Malinkrot 3
53, I've never seen any FML like your made up lip gloss one. And #56 is right, this is supposed to be a funny website, so get off your pretentious "no one else here knows what REAL pain is, but I do" high horse. Obviously most of these peoples lives aren't literally ******, and everyone else here knows that, so stop acting like you are the only one who realizes it and the rest of us are all naive kids who don't know what real problems are.
apfunction 0
not yet, doesn't mean he won't be ****** up from it dumbass. just because he didn't die doesn't mean "nothing happened" you ******* idiot.
xanniefiend420 0
#53 deserves to hang
cuntfused 3
You sure seem like you don't mind being a bitch. Last time I checked, fire alarms don't beep randomly either, so your logic is shot to hell. For the record, people who are unable to afford the bare essentials are probably not going write about it on an FML post. If you had no food or running water, would you waste your time and money on the internet? Sounds pretty ridiculous, right?
johnsonchicklet 0
if you don't like reading the fmls just don't. no one is making you.
Metzler31 17
that is not true. it has happened to me when the carbon monoxide alarm when off randomly. we freaked out and called the police, but the alarm was malfunctioning because it was low on battery. so this is one I believe could have actually happened.
p00nhandler 0
ur mom is a retard...
chinCHILLaOUT 0
@53 You know, if you look in the about/FAQ (I'm not sure which) it says that an FML is about what ruined your DAY. Not your life. It's about that petty little things that is screwed up and caused you inconvinience that everyone can feel and laugh that it happened to you. This site is about how you can forget about those unfortunate people for a little bit and **** off and complain about yourself. It's to enjoy what luck you have and what can go wrong with that. This site is one of those times you can relax and enjoy some self indulgance. If you don't want to do that you can get the **** out. I am not saying that we shouldn't think about those people that are less unfortunate and don't have the necessties of life such as water and shelter. Just sometimes its called taking a break. We cannot completely donate all of our time to helping everyone, in order to do that we need to trade places with them. This site is called a LUXURY, were we can complain about them. So if you don't want to take a break, you should leave.
iris1012 5
agreed.
Nailbunny 4
I feel it's safe to say "#53 got pwnd"
walc 2
Today, my best friend that I've known since first grade died after having very painful cancer for two years. FML
sososuckmytoe 1
If they are all fake/or just not good enough for you, stop coming here to read them all. you are the one whinning about what you read. STFU
Reyo 2
Is your mother really that thick? I just can't fit my mind around this. If she thought she could smeel it, why would there be a need for an alarm?
trizdan 0
yeah, you can only complain when you die.. otherwise STFU
bl0tt0 0
@56 someone's actually going to post here if they had someone near to them die? it's supposed to be a humorous site, you're not going to hear any serious stuff here, so if you're waiting for the perfect FML, its not gunna happen
moneyman22 7
I think that the website name F My Life is very misleading. Most of these aren't going to affect you 30 years later, so it doesn't really F Your Life. I think it should be something like "This Day Sucks (TDS)" or something.
sadmcphee 0
Blonde?
Danielt104 6
Get off this website. It's for funny things that **** up our day, not things that litterally **** our lives. So, yeah, this website isn't for you. Get off. -.-
Lam559 1
I'm pretty sure it wasn't malfunctioning but rather giving you a warning to replace your dying batteries :)
thor89 0
You're lucky all you could have inherited would be a GoLd tooth
nickibaby64 0
If we had no food or water i doubt we would have a computer, much less internet. You need to chill chick, no one forces you to come on this website. Why come here just to bitch?
mittensbum16 0
...you're a ****
ReyEr9412 0
53 is partially right. There are a lot of annoying whiny ones like the lip gloss example. Another one is: "Today, I my friend had a party and I wasn't invited. FML"
LexSwift 17
74- You're pretty. OP- That really sucks, but I'm glad you're okay.
lilluvowl 0
I have no carbon monoxide director in my house o_O
starberries 0
Me neither. I have a detector, though.
ilovecamp 2
your stupid
geotal45 0
You wanna read stories about people's entire lives getting ruined? go watch the news, this is a comedy website.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I would like to know how you personally would feel if somebody's stupidity could've easily gotten you killed, especially somebody stupid enough to not know what carbon monoxide is specifically. Would you automatically forgive them just because you were lucky enough to survive?
water4life 0
she needs to be slapped
TrekkieGirl 0
WTF is wrong with your mom?!? There is no way an adult with children no less, should be that much of an idiot. Glad you and your family are ok, OP. However, your mom needs an ass kicking.
MadPercussion 0
the FML is not that the carbon monoxide alarm went off and the OP could have died, it's that their mom is a ******* idiot.
ryanvoiselle 5
What's op
SnickerVonBicker 0
what a ******* retard
The_Toxic_Mite 0
Quite ******* true! FYL!
darkmis1 18
Wow! No offense, but your mom's an idiot.
CleanSheets 0
Your mom clearly knew you couldn't smell it, but was just looking for a way to end your life while she made her get away in the emergancy ecsape pod that she secretly had installed into her closet several years ago.
smartblondie 0
:) hee hee
saranottelling 7
of course!!!! It all makes sense now!
CleanSheets 0
it's a gift. I just know these things
EastonxStealth 0
u must of exchanged looks for ur "gift"
theschweigert 0
@96, why the **** would you make your name about a ******* line of sporting equipment?
EastonxStealth 0
cuzz my dad works with them and I like their bats....
HanaxD 0
Seriously, she's stupid. o.O
tick_tock 0
Wow, your mom is kind of retarded. I'm glad you didn't die :D
Chopperman_fml 0
Moms should not be allowed near electronics...my mom still doesn't know how to use the DVD player we got 5 years ago.
kukitheaf 0
especially asian moms. my mom called me to ask how to turn on the tv. she even had the remote XD
HanaxD 0
What the hell, where did my comment go? O:
Sun_Kissed18 25
They go away sometimes :( Sowwy
joshhh11 0
the trolls ate it :)
dvd175 5
It happens when u don't feed them
jazzw92 0
wow...good thing you don't seem to have inherited her brainpower....
NamesIncognita 15
brain"power"
FritoLovesYou 0
Slap her for me.