Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML
Today, the gift my mother had mailed me for my birthday finally arrived. It was a gift card for Starbucks. A gift card that had already been redeemed. FML
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Today, my mother had to ask me when my birthday was, because she gets it confused with the day she bought our old car. FML
Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML
Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
Sounds like a gag gift my Dad would give me, even though I'm too much of a wuss to drink. I'll kill myself slowly with cola, thanks.
Dark_Queen 0
My older brother just died because he was hit by a drunk driver. I think it's a thoughtful gift to give someone. It shows they care.
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Comments (99)
idrivefast 0
I'm just guessing you got a DUI before you got this gift
a_nix777 0
that may very well come in handy someday, I wish my mom would have done the same.
BlueberryPies 0
I don't understand why this is an FML. Sure, it was a bit late, but four days isn't even THAT late. Furthermore, that little gadget may totally come in handy some day. You should be thanking your Mom, not bitching about it on the internet.
rzrbcks 0
That is a great gift, idk what you're bitching about.
dabeachbum 0
okay not the best bday present for u i admit, but... good fer ur mom. she cares be happy stop whining this really isnt an fml its just u complaining that u didnt get 'the best' bday present GET OVER IT :) happy belated bday
AcdcKicksAss 3
Thats awesome. Those things are fun to play with when your wasted.
blastvortex 4
Are you kidding? That's an awesome present!
dudemitch 0
wheres the "you have a ******* awsome mom" button?
patedog 0
shows that ur mum actually cares about you and that she wants you to stay alive
Paige_Nicole10 0
i wouldnt mind one of those