Today, I'm on the last day of my honeymoon in Ireland. My wife and I have an amazing hotel room and a huge bed. She's passed out drunk and if I even touch her, she needs the bucket next to our bed. So much for finishing our week on a "fun" note. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we are on our honeymoon, at a beautiful resort, and my wife has been in bed crying for two days. She won't talk to me, and every time I come in, she sobs harder and starts hyperventilating. This can't be a good sign. FML
Today, after a very long day, I needed a hotel room but the only one available was a honeymoon suite. I was so tired, I just said yes. My wife just called demanding to know why I was charging a romantic room to our joint credit card, and if I’ve got a woman with me. I just want to go to sleep. FML
Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML
Today, it's the last day of my girlfriend's "dream vacation", which I broke the bank paying for. She's spent almost the entire week laying in bed, listlessly playing Pokémon. She won't even talk to me. FML
Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML
Today, I'm exhausted. For the second time, my fiancé and I have pulled my future sister-in-law off the pavement naked and drunk at 3 a.m. and couldn't find the purse or glasses she had with her. She’s hungover and has completely blacked out what happened. Never again giving her a place to crash. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home, chugged a beer, and passed out in our bed without saying hello or goodnight to me. I've been on vacation for a week and was hoping to cuddle. But no, if I try to touch him, he hits me and growls. FML
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Top comments
nchic01 17
well if you drink like the Irish you have to face the consequences! sorry op
lifein2014 13
what he really meant was so much for the pussy she promised me tonight Lol
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Comments (87)
nchic01 17
well if you drink like the Irish you have to face the consequences! sorry op
Mightyrif 23
I thought your statement was witty and funny. Not sure why it got so many downvotes but here's my upvote!
bethyworks 16
You got my up vote as well #1!
jellybeens_fml 16
I heard in Ireland there are more drunks than people.
nchic01 17
haha thanks 14 and 15 :)
aine500 16
C'mon Ireland isn't that bad.... I live there and that thing somebody said about more drunks than people is such a lie. If rarely see somebody who's drunk unless I'm at a party here
lunar999 23
#38 how do you not realise that there being more drunks than people isn't even possible?
martin8337 36
According to a Family Guy episode, there are empty beer bottles littering the runway at the airport. Just saying.
orbit 22
Come on guys, drunks are people too. Treat them with respect.
schhichick 14
Sounds like she should not have been Dublin the drink orders
eyepuppy 31
The reason she was downvoted was because her comment originally said, "sorry OP." She the changed it.
nchic01 17
umm nope #80. that's just the last part of my comment :)
MollySheridan 11
Everyone here is being very stereotypical. I live here in Ireland and have done for my whole life and no, we don't drink as much as you all say we do! And of course there isn't more drunks then people over here are you mad?! It's really quite annoying that you all just expect everyone over here to be drunks. Very stereotypical.
eyepuppy 31
Sounds like she had a blast!
Greenteamextreme 16
Probably followed by one bitch of a hangover lol!
schhichick 14
A blast of beer.
aricababyy 22
Still have the morning!
jellybeens_fml 16
she gonna have a killer hangover tho
SrgntSprnkls77 15
something something true irishman
lifein2014 13
what he really meant was so much for the pussy she promised me tonight Lol
cryssycakesx3 23
ah, I was thinking he meant yo-yoing or pogo sticking :P
lifesneutral2002 6
guess you had a rotten week :( congrats on marriage though!
cryssycakesx3 23
I doubt she was drunk the while week...
laden_swallow09 35
Well, this IS Ireland we're talking about, here…
Pstraka6 20
Unfortunately one person finished it on a fun note. Don't bring that up till the next day or later. This will be something you look back and laugh at! More fun vacations in the future
Razi_tail 25
How is puking your guts out fun? This is why I don't understand the point of getting drunk. You don't remember anything and wind up having a shitty time afterward.
I_Bite 22
depends how drunk you get #65 getting drunk can be fun but you don't have to push yourself to being sick or blacking out
thedeej 10
That's why you don't drink too much. At least you had some fun drinking, however!
doctorhook86 25
#7: Agreed. I'm wondering if this is a sign that the OP's wife has a problem. Hard to tell from just one instance.
AcieMcG 21
Guess no babymoon for you then.
teresa96706 29
What's "babymoon"? Did you mean baby shower? I don't understand it either if you did mean baby shower because a pregnant women isn't supposed to drink in the first place.
stupidpplsuck 33
its a play on words(maybe might be called something else) instead of honeymoon they said babymoon as in no baby making activities
littlekellilee 45
No baby conceived on the honeymoon.
wang33334 12
Joking on FML equals too many negative votes! So OP, I feel you. Be strong and look forward.
brand125 17
dude you're so deep
eaglerob 20
That's rough. Maybe you can get a "get out of jail free" card out of this. Hang in there, the fun times are almost over.