Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner wasted, was loud and obnoxious the whole time, sexually harassed our waitress, then invited my annoying, bratty nephews to come home and spend the night with us. They're sleeping in my room. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, my father went missing. Naturally worried, we searched his workplace, hospitals, and other locations. Turns out he got arrested for driving around town drunk out of his mind. Oh, and it's my birthday. Thanks for throwing me a great (search) party, dad. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad came to pick me up, but after I had put my backpack in the back seat and closed the car door, he drove off without me. It started to rain, and I was without my phone or wallet. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. I woke up with a raging hangover and my house being completely trashed from the party I didn’t really want, and can barely even remember, since I got so drunk from the nerves of having to host it. FML
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Top comments
PrincessCastiel 27
...Happy Birthday!!
Saywat145 17
I guess his party started a little earlier...
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Comments (74)
PrincessCastiel 27
...Happy Birthday!!
mwhpug 4
I hope OP made a wish.
STOspartan 12
A new garage door!
pjsr 33
I LOVE surprise parties!
KSIPanda2 6
did he at least say.... Surprise !!!!!!
Stazza11 27
knock knock?
Saywat145 17
I guess his party started a little earlier...
Krirn 21
Well there is more than one way to crash a party.
GriffinPeter 20
Ba dum tss
ea247 20
Oh that sucks OP i hope you dad at lest is willing to pay for the damages happy birthday btw
Poppy8127 15
This reminds me of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond when Frank drove his car into Ray's house
Poppy8127 15
I don't see why OP has YDI's. How does anyone deserve that?
Jessj958 19
Because some people are just assholes! I don't understand that either.
Mauskau 36
Sometimes I misclick or select one when scrolling.. perhaps that's where they come from as you can't unselect your vote.
keirissleepy 10
least a birthday you will never forget
ThomasBombadil 31
or hopefully someday laugh about. My dad hit the fire hydrant on our corner drunk, New Years Eve 1977. Snapped it off clean as a whistle. Unlike the movies, water did not go shooting straight up like a geyser. I was in the passenger seat and he asked me to say I was driving. Sort of a future FML. We laugh about it now, a lot. Good luck OP.
kamryno 22
There's no better present than having your dad drunkenly drive through your garage door!
warsun 27
Yes there is. Your grandfather doing that
91hayek 31
Like a stripper coming out of a cake, but instead with more horse power and family participation.
PJMLG 5
Sorry
warsun 27
You're not sorry are you?
RenbewDesh 9
You BETTER make him pay for that!
10showgirl 16
Your dad really knows how to make an entrance!