Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML
Today, the gift my mother had mailed me for my birthday finally arrived. It was a gift card for Starbucks. A gift card that had already been redeemed. FML
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Today, my mother had to ask me when my birthday was, because she gets it confused with the day she bought our old car. FML
Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML
Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
Sounds like a gag gift my Dad would give me, even though I'm too much of a wuss to drink. I'll kill myself slowly with cola, thanks.
Dark_Queen 0
My older brother just died because he was hit by a drunk driver. I think it's a thoughtful gift to give someone. It shows they care.
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Comments (99)
ermkrmr 0
atleast she cares?
shuguy007 3
you're so right, don't u hate when your mom just wants you to take good care of yourself? What a bitch, definitely a FYI...
leareh 0
that's fricken awesome! I don't see how that's bad?!
wantchangethenli 0
God you guys are dumb it's an FML because the present got there four days after she got a DUI there for it was late for the ticket not the birthday. FML for reading all these ridiculous comments from people that have to have everything written out word for word.
jwolfqueen 0
Where can u get that??
stevenmx86 8
Wtf that's a pretty neat gift.. I know it would backfire for a lot of people just like those stupid signs that tell you your speed.. Everyone wants the high score!
blackwidowtaco 31
look on the brightside op, you got a free gift, and someone's looking out for your well being! :)
geez9311 11
Hey..this isn't bad! Its apparent she cares a lot...it's for your own safety ^_^
Ilikepie82479 20
How is that a bad thing?
prettygurl89 16
Umm this is actually an awesome gift. I want one.