Today, I was diagnosed with COVID, and given a week off work to quarantine. When I sat down on the sofa, my girlfriend slapped the remote out of my hand and handed me a list of chores, "to do while you're lazing around on vacation." It's four pages long. Double sided. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML
Today, on the first day of the first week off together with my family in six months, we’re all quarantined with positive COVID tests. By the time we’re off quarantine, I’ll be back at work. FML
Today, I jokingly said to my coworker, "God, what I wouldn't do for a week off work." I was then tested positive for COVID fifteen minutes later. FML
Today, I’ve been working 4 months to cover people isolating, so I was finally looking forward to a Saturday of fishing, a date night then a lazy Sunday watching TV. Only my wife who, as soon as she heard I had a whole weekend free, handed me a list of vital house jobs that need doing, “NOW NOW NOW.” FML
Today, I'm in quarantine after testing positive for Covid. Two weeks after starting a new job. Two months after receiving the vaccine. FML
Today, I tested positive for COVID. This wouldn’t be a big deal, except my entire family has now fallen like a stack of dominos, and despite being asymptomatic, I now have to quarantine. My work stopped doing COVID leave in November. FML
Today, my wife asked me for a divorce, shortly after I found out she's been having an affair. Then our county placed us on quarantine for Covid-19. Now I'm stuck living with her until it goes away. FML
Today, I tested positive for COVID-19. I just spent 5 weeks at a job training and was supposed to go on holiday on Monday, the first since 2019. Now I can’t even go home and hug my son. FML
Today, I got my first positive Covid test. It's also the first day of a week-long vacation that included two things I'd been planning for weeks that I haven't done in years, and a trip somewhere I've been looking forward to for months. All shot to hell right before it began. FML
Today, I've been off work for 10 days because my Covid test came back void so I had to get tested again. I went back for 3 days, and now I'm Covid positive to have to isolate again. I live by myself and have no pets. I've run out of stuff to watch on Netflix. My only entertainment is my robot vacuum. FML
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Top comments
dreams2383 20
tell her your sick and she can do them herself or she can go **** herself. if you have no symptoms do the damn chores
poopface82 25
I’m just waiting for my ex to tell me her new boyfriend got COVID - that’s the kind of shit she used to pull on me. I had to hang Christmas lights in a walking boot and be on child duty right after surgery. And she wonders why I said I didn’t want her back.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
How did you get so far behind on your chores? Now you can get caught up on your little vacation! Try not to be so lazy in the future.
emmalou 19
sounds like you've been lacking 😂
dreams2383 20
tell her your sick and she can do them herself or she can go **** herself. if you have no symptoms do the damn chores
Iifa 7
Oh wow, was it warranted? I would probably have to move out if I did that to my man
poopface82 25
I’m just waiting for my ex to tell me her new boyfriend got COVID - that’s the kind of shit she used to pull on me. I had to hang Christmas lights in a walking boot and be on child duty right after surgery. And she wonders why I said I didn’t want her back.
dasin 18
i just wanna see these pages of chores out of curiousity