Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML
Today, for our 8 month anniversary, my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
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Top comments
CoachBangWhore 5
That's why you don't let a toddler get to second base on you
nursestudent 5
That sucks ;)
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Comments (128)
AgentTaco 6
Damn thats just plain not cool.. That baby is growing into a pimp btw:D
FalconSam1414 19
My little sister and I used to give each other hickeys (not knowing the meaning of them at the time) on our arms. We were younger children so don't judge LOL! :)
lolitah_fml 6
Why would she get mad if he's your boyfriend?
lilicoco_fml 5
Okay..my question is WHY did you allow that child to suck on your neck long enough to leave a hicky that is THAT noticeable?
devore504 7
i would have thought you cheated too. who lets a two month old suck on them? get the baby a bottle.
Major_Whupass 3
I'm sorry but your mum's a bitch...
llmarilyn 4
Lol well if he was your bf and lived you he'd believe you. Mine would freak out and start assumptions
DylansMomma 9
Your comment : I don't beleieve that story either OP.
DylansMomma 9
Your comment : and Im a mother who nursed her son.
SoultheWolf 19
Both your mother and boyfriend are complete idiots... The size of a two month old baby's mouth is MUCH smaller then that of a full grown adult. FYL