Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a year and a half. Thanks, Mom. I can never unhear that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Today, after nearly two months of no sex, I got cockblocked by an unexpected visit by my mother. FML
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
Today, I realized that my mom has not had a date, or had sex, in 50 years. I've become her 'Husband-Son'. FML
Today, the older I get, the more I realise my mom has screwed up my ability to have sex. She used to beat me if she thought I was having impure thoughts, and though she died years ago, when I try to have sex with my girlfriend I hear mom's voice in my head and I go limp. I can’t even masturbate. FML
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, I had the pleasure of listening to my mom tell me about how her and my dad's weight loss has helped them get more into it when they're being intimate. Suddenly I wish my parents were fat again. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
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Top comments
KBeatz 5
It's moments like this when the neuralyzer from Men in Black would be legit.
plaguer 26
I'm sure your father would be more upset to know that you know. Better to only hear about it than actually have it done to you.
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Comments (118)
kitsune3 20
Why the hell does it matter if he's impotent? Are they trying to have another kid or something?
kaybear949 0
You poor thing:)
missamree 4
So FYL because your mother had enough trust in you to tell you something so personal? It's probably hard for her suddenly having no sex. You people are immature if you find sex between older people gross, sex is natural, and I think if you're still able to have it, you should. I really feel bad for OP's mother. You're a jerk, OP, and I hope your mother decides to never tell you anything again.
missamree 4
Oh and to the people saying, "at least they aren't having sex", you're just as stupid, your parents had to have sex to conceive you. Maybe they should have though that one through. I wish my parents were still in love and could have a happy and healthy relationship, which includes sex. Ungrateful children is all you ever see anymore.
xNephilim 19
It's okay, my mom told me that she only kept having sex with my dad before they divorced so he would shut up and quit nagging. Yeah.
LenZClan 4
Dude c'mon I can't unread that
jjad22 3
So who's your dad?