Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML
Today, it's that time of year again: my mom has threatened to disown me if I celebrate Christmas in any way, shape, or form. Yes, she is an extreme bible thumper. No, she doesn't see what is wrong with her behavior, nor does she care. FML
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
Today, my mom mentioned that she doesn’t think she’s gonna let my baby sister believe in Santa. When I mentioned that I believed in Santa growing up, she casually replied with, "Yeah, well you were slow." FML
Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML
Today, my fifteen year-old son decided to tell his little five year-old sister that Santa isn't real. She now refuses to talk to any of us and thinks "her whole life is a lie". FML
Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
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Top comments
yoimtrollin 24
Ho ho ho hail satan ************
Nyx_fml 23
Wait... Santa is going to hell? So, she thinks Santa is real? There's the first sign she's a wacko. Uhh... I mean... SANTA IS REAL, FML KIDS.
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Comments (167)
AngryD 9
well you don't have to send her a Christmas card or buy her a present now. buy all you kids present and label them from her and have her explain that
sanecatlady 13
This sounds almost like something my brother would say because he's a real Scrooge. One year he was driving me back to my apartment with his wife and daughters and we wanted to look at all the houses with Christmas lights but each time we approached one he would race right past them. He would only slow down if we saw a house with no decorations at all. Even when we were kids he never got very excited about the holidays.
Destiny_1Drocks 3
im sorry but think your mom has problems poor kids
thegreycat_fml 12
... The stupidity is strong in this one. (referring to your mother OP.)
helloboyzder 13
Why, oh why?
abhi5 2
now..tell them that zombies are really nice creatures and they are gonna protect the world from evil Santa this Christmas
Comeonseriously 8
People like that are one of the many reasons I'm no longer religious... Good luck op
inbredlefthand 10
Now you can save money on Christmas presents
grunt_fml 17
The fun thing is that the character Santa Claus was derived from Saint Nicholas, the sacred Bishop of Myra, who lived and died in todays Turkey during the 7th century. But I guess that is part of being religious in general and christian in particular - the notion that YOUR and only your opinion and way of life is true to gods will and that everyone who strays from this path even slightly will is doomed. Makes killing pagans so much easier! Anyway, how can OP not know what kind of religious zealot his/her mother is. I mean they spend quite some years together, how can one not know?
Lizzy500 16
My mom was "born again" after I left the house. She was actually pretty cool when I was growing up. Then she divorced #2 and is back to her cool self again, mostly.
siggy_mcsigx 22
What religion is your mother? Why is she calling Christmas a satanic holiday? (well, it is completely stolen from pagan winter solstice celebrations...)
RedPillSucks 33
A lot of religions christians associate paganism with satanism. Not saying it's right, but there it is...