Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Hail Santa
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML
Festive spirit
Today, it's that time of year again: my mom has threatened to disown me if I celebrate Christmas in any way, shape, or form. Yes, she is an extreme bible thumper. No, she doesn't see what is wrong with her behavior, nor does she care. FML
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
Innocence
Today, my mom mentioned that she doesn’t think she’s gonna let my baby sister believe in Santa. When I mentioned that I believed in Santa growing up, she casually replied with, "Yeah, well you were slow." FML
Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML
It is
Today, my fifteen year-old son decided to tell his little five year-old sister that Santa isn't real. She now refuses to talk to any of us and thinks "her whole life is a lie". FML
Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
Top comments
yoimtrollin 24
Ho ho ho hail satan ************
Nyx_fml 23
Wait... Santa is going to hell? So, she thinks Santa is real? There's the first sign she's a wacko. Uhh... I mean... SANTA IS REAL, FML KIDS.
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Comments (167)
yoimtrollin 24
Ho ho ho hail satan ************
swaggalikethat 22
Op, your mom is a new kind of idiot. She is what we call, the moron. Plus, of all holidays, isn't Christmas the most Christian besides Easter?
\ 28
At least let them have their fun while they're still young and clueless...
ilovesarcasm 18
#35 Actually many devout, extremist Christians believe that Jesus was born in April, and that Christmas, Easter, and many other holidays were used by Catholics to convert the pagans, to give them something to connect with, and practicing any ritual is an abomination. This reeks of such a person.
rgriff27 19
I mean I just don't understand how you didnt see it coming. She is your mother, how did you not know that she had these views about Christmas?
monnanon 14
@62 that is actually correct, well thr holidays bit. not entirely sure about thr birthdate. isnt it august? anyway as a Pagan myself i always think that changing the holidays was done as a nice thing. they could have easily told thr ancients to lump it but they didn't and even today we still do pagan things like bringing greenery and light into the home (xmas trees) christmas is a lovely holiday because it is such an imalgumation of beliefs.
JeWbOy101 11
@ 73 I probably would not have thumbed down your comment if you had typed better...
monnanon 14
i most probably dont care.
Lizzy500 16
Well, technically they're right about the pagans.
caitlinrawrr 9
A lot of Christians use Christmas trees as a symbol of Jesus. Just saying.
Xivion 19
I myself consider myself a Christian. however do I think Christmas is the actual day he was born. Idk do I think it was originally meant for something else perhaps... however I do know Christmas easter whatever holiday and however it and to be doesn't matter it's how u think of it and how u spend it that really matters.
RedPillSucks 33
True enough, Anori. However, they are right on several accounts, that Sunday isn't the sabbath, and Jesus wasn't born on Christmas. However, once you pick a day and truly reserve it as holy, that's pretty much all that is required.
SkeletonPrincess 6
My grandpa and I made a nativity scene one year, and we didn't have any wise men, so he got some santa figurines and used them as wise men
Zintrix 6
Op your mother is a new kind of dumbass. Like there are people that do insanely stupid shit then there is her. First of all Christmas it's the birth of Jesus "Christ". That's why its"Christmas".
ballettillidie 8
Why would she say that! Poor kids!!'
CockAsian 14
I mean, Santa and Satan DO have the same letters in them. Coinkidink? I think not.
MrsDruidess 23
poor kids indeed! Teach them that there are lots of religions out there, maybe take them to meet a few different leaders. Maybe then they will understand that people are different. Once they got that down, then they can learn about how some are bat shit crazy, like your mom!
Zintrix 6
Yeah #27 live is evil spelled backwards. Does that mean if we live we're evil.
Link5794 18
Well, Christmas is a ripoff of a pagan holiday called Saturnalia, and the Bible is pretty clear that its god does not like other religions at all.
Nyx_fml 23
Wait... Santa is going to hell? So, she thinks Santa is real? There's the first sign she's a wacko. Uhh... I mean... SANTA IS REAL, FML KIDS.
BillMurray_fml 12
San...ta? ;____________;
RedPillSucks 33
You're just jealous because Santa gets to dress up in all red, while all you've got is blue.
GLaDOS8899 14
126, HEY! BLUE IS MY FAVORITE COLOR!
oj101 33
Today's religion is the mythology of tomorrow.
MrSassypants 34
Today's dick comment, will still be a dick comment tomorrow.
mattthedon 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
traumatize her and tell her Jesus isn't real
FMLkoala 28
Jesus was real though
skitzymew 19
There's proof of Jesus in your history books.
Mauskau 36
Yes, but there is no evidence of his miracles. All we have to go by is the sexist, homophobic book called the Bible.
inbredlefthand 10
Have you actually even read the Bible? Please elaborate for me on how it is "sexist" and "homophobic".
FMLkoala 28
Wait if she says it's satanic then she is probably Christian but Christmas was created by Christians to celebrate Jesus's birth...
angelk19 22
you might want to do some research on that..
Wizzlbang 10
It was actually a pagan holiday hijacked by christians to gain mre favor for their at the time growing religion to be made about Jesus being born, despite the fact that evidence in the bible suggest he was probably born sometime around march.
KK3137 31
I personally have done a lot of reading on this, and apparently it was around April 14th :D
psiloveyou15 12
Whatever OP's mother believes, it was extremely inappropriate for her to shoot down her grand kids' excitement like that.
sanecatlady 13
I couldn't care less. I'm Christian but I'm also agnostic and only celebrate Christian holidays for fun and not for their religious meanings.
who10nanny 8
Yeah. Look up Yule. It is a Pagan holiday. The Yule tree doesn't represent Jesus. It represents fertility, like most Pagan holidays. Easter, Christmas, & Halloween are all Pagan traditions. (Ostara, Yule, & Samhain)
CrazyGirlfriend 21
you just really contradicted yourself by saying you're Christian and Agnostic. Which is it?....
realtingdis 12
Hijacked by the Catholics. There's a difference ya know.
the_real_dvd 21
Actually, he was born around the time of the fall harvest, likely in September or October. His ministry was 3-1/2 years, and he died on the Passover, which is in spring, during the first full moon after the spring equinox. Christmas was based on the worship of the unconquered sun, and was mostly popularized at the time of the Council of Nicea, although the church had banned it many times throughout the centuries.
Emelka_fml 20
Actually, as an agnostic atheist, you can be agnostic something. For instance, either agnostic atheist, agnostic theist, gnostic atheist or gnostic theist. Agnostic Christian is a thing.
monnanon 14
i really dont understand how you can be an agnostic athiest. hoe can you believe there is nit gods but believe in the possibility. atheist, like theist, is an absolute state.
Lichinamo 33
What would her religion be if she thinks Christmas, a Christian and/or Pagan holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, is Satanic?
MermaidAnnariea 10
pagans don't believe in jesus. so they wouldn't celebrate "his birth". it was originally a pagan holiday that was hijacked by christians and changed to fit their own beliefs. they hoped it would make it easier for pagans to convert, since they could still celebrate at the same time as their own celebrations (easter was stolen as well).
monnanon 14
and halloween and to a lesser extent thr may day holiday. pagan yule is the 21st of december but the festival really isnt too different. we still feast we still use lots of lights and greenery. the old offerings are now xmas presents some still burn yule logs etc. to me it is a symbol of how kind thr old christians were that so many old customs still exist. they could easily have eradicated them. there is no answer in crhistianity for the evergreen xmas tree or thr easter bunny after all.
Kukua 5
Yes it was hijacked, but it was hijacked by Christians. Although it is still a pagan holiday, it is also a Christian holiday to celebrate Jesus, because Christians decided to make it so. So as a Christian, op's mother shouldn't be calling it satanic. Also, it's horrible to crush ANY dream/excitement of kids like that!
BrotherPhil 35
As others have noted, Christmas is a hijacking of various winter celebrations about the Birth of the Sun. For a lot of fundies, any other god or goddess is synonymous with Satan - in fact, for some, the "Muslim God" and the "Jewish God" are synonymous with Satan, despite them both being the one who Christans are supposed to worship through / with his son.
monnanon 14
not the birth of the sun at all. Yulr was to make the sun come back ad they believed it was going away from them due to the shorter nights. after the 21st of december the days lengthen again.
euphoricness 28
Well she could be right. The letters of Satan are in the name Santa! It's a conspiracy!!
Justice_Beaver 13
My aunt did the same exact thing, but about Halloween.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
When I was really young I had a pastor tell me my mom was the devil because her birthday is on Halloween.
MrSassypants 34
#15 People have been even saying things like that to my uncle. He was born on 06/06/1966, even though that is four 6's. He is one of the nicest people I know, though.
Pwn17 25
I hate it when people shove their stupid religious superstitions down other people's throats like that.
jazzy_123 20
Well Halloween makes a lot more sense than Christmas
Enslaved 38
Interesting-- When you look up the origin of Halloween, it's actually very morbid. :P Even the tern "trick or threat" sends chills up my spine. And a jack-o'-lantern represents a damned soul that's lingering in limbo. Etc....
caitlinrawrr 9
#34, I'm glad that didn't happen to me. My 14th birthday was on 06/06/06.
who10nanny 8
Actually, Samhain (the real name for Halloween) is the day that the veil between the world of the living & the world of the dead is the thinnest. Jack O Lanterns are used to light the way for deceased relatives to visit family. Offerings of food are left out for them. It has absolutely nothing to do with some imaginary creature named Satan/Lucifer.
bellebe1998 16
she prob just doesn't want to buy them presents.