Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML
Today, it's that time of year again: my mom has threatened to disown me if I celebrate Christmas in any way, shape, or form. Yes, she is an extreme bible thumper. No, she doesn't see what is wrong with her behavior, nor does she care. FML
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
Today, my mom mentioned that she doesn’t think she’s gonna let my baby sister believe in Santa. When I mentioned that I believed in Santa growing up, she casually replied with, "Yeah, well you were slow." FML
Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML
Today, my fifteen year-old son decided to tell his little five year-old sister that Santa isn't real. She now refuses to talk to any of us and thinks "her whole life is a lie". FML
Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
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Top comments
yoimtrollin 24
Ho ho ho hail satan ************
Nyx_fml 23
Wait... Santa is going to hell? So, she thinks Santa is real? There's the first sign she's a wacko. Uhh... I mean... SANTA IS REAL, FML KIDS.
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Comments (167)
chosha_fml 27
Guess who's on Santa's naughty list.
AppleJuiceDreams 1
My father and his mother are both Jehovah's Witnesses, and they both get tore up about the holidays. My grandmother isn't so bad since she loves all the lights and decorations at Christmas, and even gives out "We Don't Celebrate Christmas" gifts to the grandchildren. But she won't hesitate to call anyone who celebrates Halloween a "devil worshipper". They don't celebrate birthdays, either.
sanecatlady 13
Halloween is the best holiday ever! Costumes, candy, pumpkins, every year I relive my childhood again. I'm so glad I don't live in the US, people there are way too moral and care more about what's wrong than what's right with everything. I even read not long ago some principal in the states banned everything Halloween at a school for its RELIGIOUS overtones! The same would go for SAINT Patrick's Day, SAINT Valentine's day and even Thanksgiving. Way to murder the students' childhood. >:(
BrotherPhil 35
Witnesses don't seem to get much joy out of their "love" for God. Neither do a lot of fundies. Funny that - you'd think that someone who had been filled up with the Holy Spirit would be so bubbling over with His love that she wanted to spread it around, rather than upset people and scare little kids. Are you sure she's not been sung to by the wrong archangel?
JMichael 26
I'm now traumatized too...:'(
toneeangel 22
That was a bitch move
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
I'd be telling that crazy bitch to stay the hell away from my kids!
threer 30
It's a Santanic holiday!
ilovefall10 21
I honestly don't know why she would think Christmas is a "Satanic" holiday, I mean, it has Christ in the name for Pete's sakes.
deanpoirier 3
You should kick your mom in the dick for saying such BS
simoncat 11
Shes's confused Santa Clause with Satan Claws. (Distant third cousins, I believe.)
sanecatlady 13
I once read in one of those slimy tabloid newspapers years ago that kids from Satan-worshipping families have their own version of Santa called "Satan Claws", and they write letters to him asking for bad and evil things like, "please give my teacher diarrhea" and other screwed-up stuff. Disturbing or hilarious, I'm not sure which one it is.
SkeletonPrincess 6
I didn't think Satanists celebrated Christmas, because of it being one of the more christian holidays.