Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother-in-law screamed at the top of her lungs in front of our friends and family that I was stealing her baby away from her. I'd only suggested we go home because he had a migraine. Her baby is 24 years-old and has been married to me for a year. FML
Today, 98 year-old mom with dementia thought she was talking to one of my dead sisters and not my wife, telling her she'd better never tell me who my real father really, that I ruined her marriage. She won't have me ruining her reputation, so her getting pregnant with me from an affair was my fault apparently. None of my siblings ever told me. FML
Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML
Today, it's been a week since my girl told me she's pregnant and I fled town in a panic. I realized how badly I fucked up and called her, begging to come back. When I showed up at her house, her brothers kicked my ass and threw me in the street, promising to wring me dry for child support. FML
Today, nine years on, my dad still hates my husband for "ruining" my life by getting me pregnant in my late twenties. FML
Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, my girlfriend's 8-year-old daughter decided that I'm going to marry her mom and send her to an orphanage. I blurted out, "Marriage?! No one's talking about marriage!" Now my girlfriend is mad at me, and her daughter is still scared of me. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML
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Top comments
apaloosa_fml_fml 21
Congrats OP! Shame your mother can't be happy for you though, she should be excited to be a grandma!
hotshot0185 15
A bit of a nutter. FYL
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Comments (82)
cuppycakeslove 20
Ignore her, that's completely ridiculous.
VampireBiter 7
Congratulations op! Surprised she wasn't yelling at you for not getting her pregnant earlier.
silverstream20 20
Some parents can't accept the fact their "little girl" or in this case "little boy" grows up eventually. Good luck OP.
mixinitup 12
I'm sorry OP but your mom is the bad egg, no pun intended, not you.
revolution4ever 14
Gratz op for getting to be a father! As for your mom, I think she might of hit her head.
CallMeWindSock 24
That must've been mortifying for you at work, OP. By the way, congratulations!
bbambastic 16
And next up on desperate housewives is....
simoncat 11
This FML is more of a WTF. OP, congrats on the impending little one. I just wish I could understand the ranting of OP's mother. Married 8 years. Yeah...I'm still stuck with the "WTF?".
thewomen 8
Well, congrats!
BreynHope 11
Your mother sounds like an insane, rude bitch. She is a bitch for bitching you out about this, but especially at your workplace. Fyl. Don't let your crazy mom take away the excitement!