Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother-in-law screamed at the top of her lungs in front of our friends and family that I was stealing her baby away from her. I'd only suggested we go home because he had a migraine. Her baby is 24 years-old and has been married to me for a year. FML
Today, 98 year-old mom with dementia thought she was talking to one of my dead sisters and not my wife, telling her she'd better never tell me who my real father really, that I ruined her marriage. She won't have me ruining her reputation, so her getting pregnant with me from an affair was my fault apparently. None of my siblings ever told me. FML
Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML
Today, it's been a week since my girl told me she's pregnant and I fled town in a panic. I realized how badly I fucked up and called her, begging to come back. When I showed up at her house, her brothers kicked my ass and threw me in the street, promising to wring me dry for child support. FML
Today, nine years on, my dad still hates my husband for "ruining" my life by getting me pregnant in my late twenties. FML
Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, my girlfriend's 8-year-old daughter decided that I'm going to marry her mom and send her to an orphanage. I blurted out, "Marriage?! No one's talking about marriage!" Now my girlfriend is mad at me, and her daughter is still scared of me. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML
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Top comments
apaloosa_fml_fml 21
Congrats OP! Shame your mother can't be happy for you though, she should be excited to be a grandma!
hotshot0185 15
A bit of a nutter. FYL
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Comments (82)
avapaige1234 19
Remind her. She must have just forgotten that her baby is a big man now.
klc20071989_fml 20
Congrats OP.
DJ_Lyons 15
Wow... Parents... Hope you don't turn out that way with your kid... Congrats by the way!
givethisguyahug 7
Congrats on the baby, sorry about your mother.
Sheh_fml 25
There isn't gonna be a family nor reputation to protect for much longer if you don't reproduce...
ligerzero459 24
Please say you just told your Mom to get out of there
skyeyez9 25
My God! Wtf is wrong with some parents?! I would be happy if my married daughter was pregnant with my grandchild, and I would start planning out ways to spoil him/her. Grandparents have the easy part: play with the kids and spoil them....but get to send them home with their parents. You don't get the "hard work" of parenting since you already raised yours.
Sir_Swaggington 6
Is your wife of a different race? Maybe your mommy is racist. Or just a senile looney.
jgtrflynn 9
Could one of the 473 people that currently think OP deserved it please tell me why? Cause I have no idea...
Perdition25 12
Obviously they are mentally challenged.
rmoman007 7
that should help the family you waited 9 years to have a child