Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother-in-law screamed at the top of her lungs in front of our friends and family that I was stealing her baby away from her. I'd only suggested we go home because he had a migraine. Her baby is 24 years-old and has been married to me for a year. FML
Today, 98 year-old mom with dementia thought she was talking to one of my dead sisters and not my wife, telling her she'd better never tell me who my real father really, that I ruined her marriage. She won't have me ruining her reputation, so her getting pregnant with me from an affair was my fault apparently. None of my siblings ever told me. FML
Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML
Today, it's been a week since my girl told me she's pregnant and I fled town in a panic. I realized how badly I fucked up and called her, begging to come back. When I showed up at her house, her brothers kicked my ass and threw me in the street, promising to wring me dry for child support. FML
Today, nine years on, my dad still hates my husband for "ruining" my life by getting me pregnant in my late twenties. FML
Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, my girlfriend's 8-year-old daughter decided that I'm going to marry her mom and send her to an orphanage. I blurted out, "Marriage?! No one's talking about marriage!" Now my girlfriend is mad at me, and her daughter is still scared of me. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML
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Top comments
apaloosa_fml_fml 21
Congrats OP! Shame your mother can't be happy for you though, she should be excited to be a grandma!
hotshot0185 15
A bit of a nutter. FYL
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Comments (82)
Capriccio22 13
Seems like there is a lot of crazy mums out there today. Do you have a 21 year old sister about to move out by any chance?
dakatabg 31
One of a kind mom
ja2006 9
Is mama off her meds?
MsSoulReaper 27
Your mother doesn't seem to like your wife. So typical.
purebliss_fml 19
Surely by the time the baby arrives she will be the doting grandmother? It's quite funny, my son's paternal grandmother was so disappointed when her son announced I was pregnant, and now she absolutely adores her grandson and loves telling me how to raise him!
BrotherPhil 35
Presumably exactly the opposite of the way that you are raising him, perhaps?
UnluckyGenius 21
Dumbass mother of the year award goes to... No but seriously congrats OP!
Brightbulb 40
Congratulations OP on your new baby! She may be someone to keep out of the baby shower though, she might kill the mood of the party.
Cazz91 21
I think this is one of those special occasions you're allowed to tell your mother to get bent (most likely said in a worse way than my kind input). Congratulations on being a father OP!
worldclassrager 41
That's a bit off...unless you have a look alike...
simsgirlgem 25
your mother is an idiot