Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML
Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML
Today, I was in class with a water bottle on my desk. I was on my phone not paying attention, when some girl knocked it over by accident. I went to grab it, even though it was in the corner of my eye. I caught the bottle of water but I also happened to grab her ass at the same time. FML
Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML
Today, my phone started ringing in the other room. I ran to go pick it up, tripped over my coffee table which gashed my leg, and knocked over my brand new 50" LCD TV, which broke over my head. Turns out it was a wrong number. FML
Today, I opened my window due to the good weather. I was lucky enough to listen to the sounds of someone violently throwing up for over an hour. The window got stuck open. FML
Today, I drank water from a random, half-full water bottle I found inside a bumper car (AKA dodgems) at the local fairground, thinking it was mine. It wasn't. FML
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Top comments
Cyanidenhappines 0
Haha that's pretty funny actually.
EvilPotato 15
Oh my god, it's a sign if the Apocalypse, run for your lives!
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Comments (114)
Cyanidenhappines 0
Haha that's pretty funny actually.
HahaHokayThen 10
Hey, free water bottle.
rexgar2000 10
why water bottles? :/ but it is funny and random.
silvercamaro 22
I don't think alot of the FMLs posted are made by people look at this persons name and then look at peoples names in alot of other fmls
jwade11 12
Well that wasn't a long enough ahead warning!
fmlsaves 0
Epic
tatababe 1
I'm going to try this one out /:P
wisky_fml 5
One fml that actually made me lol
mle015 0
Don't use a mettle one! Lol
EvilPotato 15
Oh my god, it's a sign if the Apocalypse, run for your lives!
EvilPotato 15
*of*.
Fruit_Dealer 9
Fantomas strikes again. No? Eh.. People don't watch classics anymore.
MwahFMLS 6
Incoming..
hypuuurness 6
Hahahaha!
Buttsexpirate 9
He was from the future! Wooweewoo!
saIty 17
I always wanted to run into a crowded store and ask what year it was, and after getting my answer I would shout "IT WORKED!!" and scurry out of the store.
flockz 20
i had an idea to buy a parrot and only teach it the phrase "Somebody help me! They turned me into a parrot!" then as one of your friends hear, laugh creepily.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
19- Thanks for the idea. I just added that to my list of things to do for the day.
swaggythechair 7
I wonder if this was a Doctor Who reference.
YourEvilHero 12
I would have stopped the car, got out, and gone on an all out hunt until I found out who did it.
EvilPotato 15
8 oh you know, theeee car, *smiles strangely*.
i2smart2trick 15
#5--LOL
Sl1mShad3y 10
I think you posted on the wrong FML thread... Or maybe your just retarded...
happyabby123 0
13- haha. That's nice...
godlike1 5
At least you have humorous neighbors.
adrayy 4
How much do you wanna bet OP lives in a dorm? College kids are always amusing like this.
Meme1988 18
Lol! Did saw that comming
binga1496 1
Nice grammar
Saltime 0
Nice punctuation, 23.
Meme1988 18
Come on with the spelling!! Who cares?????! It started to be really annoying!!!
reaganomics 6
Started when ?
Meme1988 18
Oh, you guys find it so Cool to correct someone on the internet! Wow, that must be feeling so freakin great! Get a life!
reaganomics 6
Phones/computers have autocorrect.....j/s
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
62, why capitalize the "C" in cool?
lulupookiepoo 0
Of shiiiiiiiiiiit
lulupookiepoo 0
*oh.
TheFlyingMan 8
Goodness me.
Miss_Bethica 11
at least it was an open window and they didnt have to break it to throw the water bottle xD
iam_yummylicious 12
Way to have a positive outlook...
CalCommando 6
Justin Bieber?
EvilCupcake8361 9
When something hard hit him