Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML
Today, I woke up and headed downstairs ready to do the dishes, when my mom hissed at me to, “go do the dishes!” As I was washing them, my mom stood over me the whole time. She eventually said, “You know, it’s pretty fucking sad that I still have to tell you to do these things.” FML
Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML
Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked, "Why does it smell so bad?" I replied, "Sweat". FML
Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate, "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Today, my mom came to my room to tell me that there were guests coming over. Five minutes later, she came to my room to scream at me for not doing the dishes, “like she just told me.” When? FML
Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
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Top comments
that1guyyy 12
is that the new name for penis juice now?
BoredUnicorn 6
Nasty
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Comments (191)
BoredUnicorn 6
Nasty
Overseer211 1
12 comment
armorf0r 7
13 - Fail.
DoggyDoggWorld 0
I dunno what's more embarrassing. The fact that she knows about his wet dreams, or the fact that she calls it a "spludge".
thatguy888 0
It's nasty that she immediately thought about that when he was just trying to help his mom
HowAreYouToday 34
If your mom is blind....
Iamnotmyself 17
-53 Kind sir if you killed Justin Bieber. Free ******** for life.
androiddestroya 7
57 we were supposed to discuss my offer on the privacy of comment #11 :O
RainbowHeadache 2
It's only nasty because he's wallowing around in his man candy. Going to town on yourself is perfectly natural.
mattc89 0
Msg Me Plz :)
swampbilly 5
Dang your cute
Steven696 6
She's 15 you pedo
ygdrassil 17
Now you can ask her tp buy you a box of tissues.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Maybe she's seen "spludge" before, but it does seem pretty gross to handle her own son's. At least OP's mom didn't get all grossed out and embarrass him even more.
hotscar 3
I want to like, but I want to keep the likes at 69
tckicekiller 1
hey wanna chat?
sciontc41 0
Your cute!
tandem123 6
28- I'd say the ladder, and also that that's the first thing that his mom thought he was trying to help for.
MrFraggle 14
@164 lol the "ladder"? Latter* It's good to learn differences ^^
nnguyen1995 0
Ladder means the second option. Please learn the actual word before you correct other people.
that_band_nerd 22
#190: Ladder-(Noun) 1. A structure consisting of a series of bars or steps between two lengths of wood, metal, or rope, used for climbing up or down something. 2. A series of ascending stages by which someone or something may advance or progress. Latter-(Adjective) 1. Situated or occurring nearer to the end of something than to the beginning. 2. Belonging to the final stages of something. Now stop trying to correct everyone else because you aren't right.
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
Eww
agaba 0
Awkward
josebeto1 6
Spludge. Lmfao.
ScaughtieHolden 11
Splooge..?
that1guyyy 12
is that the new name for penis juice now?
quite_bored 9
Is penis juice the old new name for semen now?
androiddestroya 7
am I turned on by this? *checks* indeed I am! :D
tzuriel11 9
How is this suppose to turn you on? It's a dood cumming on his bed
Amrel 10
Cumming on your face cumming cumming on your face
CryMoreFMLs 15
How exactly is that a turn off 34? I mean really, cum on....
herpitydurteedur 0
I've heard it called spludge before... Just most of the time they pronounce it "splooge or sploodge" with a long u sound.
aznpiboy24 5
Dude ur profile pic made that even funnier lol
sly161 0
17 is seman the old new way to say sperm?
guckylynn 19
113, semen and sperm are different. Sperm is individual while semen is the fluid which contains many sperm.
futbol4eva 0
correcto!
tandem123 6
The word just kinda sounds weird, similar to the way my cousins ex-boss hated the word moist.
lakaiskate 12
Say sorry mom I had to pull out
ConnerCyanide 0
That just made my day lmfao XD
travinator41 2
At least she wont care if you did
Kikitann 9
Omg your icon
androiddestroya 7
... mom knows what's up...
BadMeetsREvil 0
I see what you did there
iluvboobies 9
She also knows what's out.
travinator41 2
What is the point of all caps?
ninjaniki 0
a cross between spunk and sludge.. charming...
juliaaalove 8
"spludge" that's a new one..
jizzwold 21
No it's not you are just a fourteen year old girl
MagicallyFat 12
And your 16 years old. Not that big of a difference…
AnagenisisZagus 13
Only 14 years old...? Ooooh. I see we have a big man in the house.
androiddestroya 7
63 I'm 16 and I havent heard it either :o
ObeseKitten 0
I'm 9. In cat years.
slushpup9696 12
Calm down guys , 63 just wanted to make his penis feel big. You know, because he's a big boy. Who apparently doesn't own a shirt.
not_cool808 16
lol
androiddestroya 7
^ win :)
unluckiestperson_fml 14
I'm 17, **** you all! :P
jizzwold 21
75 is exactly right And my point was most 14 year old girls are rather innocent
MrTittySprinkles 7
84- Well your sister ain't.
Ugi 27
That's a very generous offer 81, but there are rather a lot of us.
Jenny97 6
... Boys or as you call yourself a " man"-
zaveeshaveesh3 7
Thank you slushpup!
zaveeshaveesh3 7
Most 14 year old girls are not innocent actually. You are out of the loop my friend, and so am I for saying " out of the loop "
tona01 16
Dude you're just 2 years older calm down, you have on you two years more of experience wow!!
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Lmao 104, touché.
i_did_that 0
Yay, cybercookie
anongrl 2
8- no it's not... My boyfriend calls it that all the time.
jizzwold 21
125 well when you are young two years is quite a big difference. I think an 18 year old would probably be a lot different than me just like I think I am different from a 14 year old. Also she's a girl.
Ionodemon1995 0
84- nobody wants to see your pastey white ass. Get a shirt.. And a paper I mean plastic bag. Seriously.
jessie0621 0
Lmao! Cat years
julianak 0
Just give up commenting. Youre getting thumbed down and trolled like crazy. Face it, most people on FML are total douche-holes and would care less to squash a poopy " think I'm so great" shirtless white boy.
Ldesu 0
If you have an issue, You'd better use a tissue.
RuCheezBurger 10
Nice rhyme thumbs up for you!
iAmScrubs 19
She may have seen spludge, but she surely can't have seen iAmScrubs Premium Sweet and Salty Spludge. My spludge comes in over 100 different colours. Call now while quantities last.
Iamnotmyself 17
-10 I'll take an ounce... Not because I'm into swallowing but that sounds hot..
JuggaletteKlown 0
Does it come with secret ingredients?! Like shrooms or pot?!:D
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
I'll take 3 ounces of hot pink only if they're freshly squeezed from concentrate.
xXshadowrollerXx 6
Do you accept coupons?
kona314 1
... Only 100?
ussr 1
WTF I want your spludge
zembof 3
Sounds more like ga?area