Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, I apparently had diarrhea in my sleep. I had to get up and sneak to the bathroom so as to not wake my husband. When he asked about the stain, I panicked and told him I started my period. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, I walked into the house I share with my boyfriend and found his mum sashaying up and down the hall. When she saw me, she exclaimed, "Oh, you've got to tell me where you get your underwear from!" Yep, she was wearing my panties. Neither she nor her son could see why I would be upset by that. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I used the upstairs bathroom rather than the downstairs one, which was in close earshot of my parents. When I came out, my mom angrily asked why I used that bathroom. I explained to her that I have shy bladder, and she said, "That’s not a real thing. I can go even with someone watching." FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
Paranoid parents are the worst, accusations of the most ridiculous things. Don't worry OP, you're not alone in this struggle of trust and faith :')
imtooshy 18
Your moms a shit head for putting you on the spot like that.
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Comments (75)
Wizardo 34
Paranoid parents are the worst, accusations of the most ridiculous things. Don't worry OP, you're not alone in this struggle of trust and faith :')
CodeXana 9
I know, when I was eight I spilled some nail polish in my room and my mom smelled it and burst in, accusing me of huffing it
amDes 11
I remember having a boyfriend in grade 12 and my mom asking "you don't let him touch you right?". Parents need to set boundaries and not jump to conclusions
nightbirdblue 27
They are definitely the worst. My parents leave me home to babysit my little sister often. When my mom returns, she never fails to accuse me of smoking pot, drinking their liquor, and sneaking out to party when they return.
PokemonLove993 17
my mom loves to believe that if I'm let out of the house with friends and taught to drive ill sleep with the whole town.
BubbleGrunge 18
Parents need to learn that the way to their children is not accusations and mistrust. Growing up I was an excellent kid, but my mother trusted me and I went out of my way to make sure she had no reason not to.
Sodapop40 21
One time I had my window open in winter, and my mom accused me of smoking weed. No mom, my room was just hot.
mmaflake 19
Sometimes my dad accuses me of ******** my pants. Most of the time he's wrong. So I'm with you on the paranoid parents thing.
then000bster 16
Whenever one of my younger siblings was crying my parents automatically assumed it was my fault.
gators1995 30
My mom accused me of smoking when I accidentally placed my sister's snack in the wrong pocket of her lunch box because I forgot which pocket I placed it in. I did find the snack though and this happened when I was 13 or 14.
KeXu 6
My mom thought I had been smoking weed when I watched Spongebob.
AestheticGuy 21
@23 Seriously?? Your mum said that to you when you were in year 12?? What a freak...
Tpracingkg 15
Overly protective mom. Can be good at times. And bad at times.
imtooshy 18
Your moms a shit head for putting you on the spot like that.
Iamevil123 16
Oh the irony. :)
capslockisgood 19
It's not irony, it's a pun.
perdix 31
#50, and it's extra-funny if you read #3's name as "I'm tushy!"
flashback.miss 28
She couldn't tell by the smell? Regardless, fyl for having a mother that's so willing to jump to conclusions and attack you in front of others rather than just ask you directly and privately.
graceinsheepwear 34
It's bad enough mom is monitoring laundry room activity; now you are advocating she smell the clothes to determine the nature of the soilage? Talk about from bad to worse...
zoPwNAgEzo 21
It seems as though ever parent on FML thinks that their kid is whoring around. It's truly sad that this generation has that stereotype
morganrules123 10
Well, there was the one parent who wanted her daughter to dress sluttier
Nekogami 14
It has this stereotype for a reason.
lilhellian 27
How is a story about a good mom going to get published on a site called "**** My life"?
graceinsheepwear 34
That's cause the parents whored around and because it's probably true about half the kids. Magic wands and hand jobs on movie dates and threesomes that degenerate into twosomes...that's what you read on here.
rob02 19
That blows.
Zeishah 26
really uncalled for behaviour on her part :/ sad you had to face that in front of the entire family..
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
what an insensitive bitch. she could have kept it to herself
blondie1205829 8
You should of told her this is private info
noelasis94 18
Sounds like the Kraft macaroni and cheese blues.
mmaflake 19
I thought cheese backed you up.
graceinsheepwear 34
37, I hear Velveeta gives you wet dreams.