Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate, "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML
Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML
Today, my mother called me, telling me how disappointed she was at how I let my room "become such a pigsty." I haven't lived there in three years. FML
Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, I kindly asked my irate mother to respect my boundaries and to find other outlets for her frustration. Instead of responding AT ALL to what I had asked, she yelled at me for an hour about a completely unrelated political documentary she'd seen on YouTube, and then didn't apologize for her outburst. Typical. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML
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Top comments
laden_swallow09 35
C'mon. She walked right into that one.
ant1078 7
These are the moments when being quiet is the best way out of a dangerous situation
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Comments (95)
charmedamethyst 14
Don't talk back to your mother.
laden_swallow09 35
C'mon. She walked right into that one.
PleaseStayChill 9
You better either watch what you say to your mom, or stop being such a pig. What if she's in the mood for bacon one day and she's running low? Don't come squealing to FML when your mom decides it's about time for you-bacon.
TehCezar 5
I remember being 12 as well.
Dylan94_fml 8
'Meanwhile, in 2012..'
tressie_fml 6
Is… is… is this bitch serious?
Betterthink4 6
Who asked you?
coolbrony12 3
He was giving her a compliment.-.- if its a trick question (meaning there's no answer) then he means she didn't raise like a pig. So it's not talking back.
metalwolf 17
It is hard to have a conversation if you don't talk back to the person who is talking to you. /troll Believe it or not ant, parents aren't always right. Im glad I talked back to my mom and helped my dad when he was in trouble right after their divorce. I said some pretty rude things to her. Along the lines of "I don't care if you are my mother, I will help whoever I want, especially my dad." Sometimes you have to think for yourself.
vocaloidtiger 12
Well, she must have a seriously pissy mother if she screamed at her for simply having a dirty pillowcase.
kyliebear 15
Why didn't you just wash your pillowcase?
ellytoad 13
Maybe she did.
teameminem 2
Today I insulted my mom and she got mad at me. FML. What were you expecting, her to laugh?
mduffy08 8
In her defense, parents find the dumbest shit to bitch about. It's not like her mom was bitching about her grades.
cheshireau 26
Exactly 78. I would high 5 the OP for the come back.
v4extreme 6
77- her mom insulted herself, genius.
xSonic 9
Because that's far too logical.. The world sadly doesn't use reason anymore :/
LouAMT51B 2
Sounds like she woke up on the wrong side of the pillow.
ittsdann 6
Booooooo
gc327072 31
That pun was sheet.
sens3sfailing 25
It was a very bed pun indeed.
imavelociraptor 6
You ought to be aFRAMED of yourself! No?.... I'm sorry...
sayyestothedress 24
Put that pun to bed
coolboy675 16
Son of a bitch! Well, in this case, it'd be daughter.
maosquare 18
It's more like daughter of a sow.
doubledee93 6
lol...if yu were hispanic...idk if yu are...but if yu were you wouldve received a slap across the face.
Awahso 25
Because the mother's race will effect her tendency to use violence...?
ant1078 7
These are the moments when being quiet is the best way out of a dangerous situation
Srs_business 7
For sure. Being a smartass to an angry parent never works out.
tygerarmy 35
I'd have said and dealt with whatever punishment I got knowing it was worth it.
amandajlucas2015 2
Lol it was an honest question
gntfmlingnow 12
I'd honestly rather be sarcastic and take the punishment. While parents may claim that the slightest sign of "disrespect" is a sign our generation is horrible, screaming in our faces over the smallest details isn't exactly the most effective way to handle things. Respect needs to be earned.
NothernNightmare 18
Yeah never provoke an angry mother further. Next thing you know, you won't have any pillow case to sleep on when she sends you to the dog house for a night! :3
mrnikc 11
We've all been there.
Bright_Lights 14
Not everybody has a dog.
deathy94 14
Nice way to help your case out, maybe you should pillow up more stuff to back you up.
acanedo 17
L.O.L !!! Trick question...too funny!
cupcakekallie 6
Aren't you a little young to be on fml?
perdix 31
This is a case where you have to choose to be honest or smart. The smart answer would be to blame your dad. Mom will blast him and leave you alone, and Dad won't take revenge on you. He's just resigned to the fact that he married a rageaholic, and either take to drinking or banging a nice lady.
momolee 4
I don't know about you, but if I blamed Dad he will say "Did she really say that??". Then both parents will want to talk with me together. Just take the responsibility for your actions.
unknown_user5566 27
34- If you over think Perdix's comments, you're missing the point.