Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML
Today, I woke up and headed downstairs ready to do the dishes, when my mom hissed at me to, “go do the dishes!” As I was washing them, my mom stood over me the whole time. She eventually said, “You know, it’s pretty fucking sad that I still have to tell you to do these things.” FML
Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML
Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked, "Why does it smell so bad?" I replied, "Sweat". FML
Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate, "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Today, my mom came to my room to tell me that there were guests coming over. Five minutes later, she came to my room to scream at me for not doing the dishes, “like she just told me.” When? FML
Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
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Top comments
that1guyyy 12
is that the new name for penis juice now?
BoredUnicorn 6
Nasty
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Comments (191)
red1355 6
Spludge is an old word. Its just coming back around. Lol
Iamkeaten 0
What a chill ass mom. I just busta Bomb at let the chips lay where they fall.
Kammasaurus_Sex 7
You have a pretty nice Mum. C:
swordsade 5
lol just as long as she dont look under the materess, if ya know wat im sayin . . .
suprmidgt 0
I think spludge is the worst sounding name for it I've heard yet.
IndigoAcrylic 9
Hahaha!! Don't slip on them wet dreams!;D
loserman67 36
Could have been worse. She could have said "tasted" rather than "seen" - count yourself as very lucky
Egnar 19
"Today my mom was sarcastic at my expense, FML"
MiaLoves 8
spludge. that's new.
perdix 31
I've heard "spooge" not "splooge." But you should run like hell before your mom turns the discussion of spooge from its appearance to its taste, comparing your Dad's to other men's.