Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML
Today, I woke up and headed downstairs ready to do the dishes, when my mom hissed at me to, “go do the dishes!” As I was washing them, my mom stood over me the whole time. She eventually said, “You know, it’s pretty fucking sad that I still have to tell you to do these things.” FML
Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML
Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked, "Why does it smell so bad?" I replied, "Sweat". FML
Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate, "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Today, my mom came to my room to tell me that there were guests coming over. Five minutes later, she came to my room to scream at me for not doing the dishes, “like she just told me.” When? FML
Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
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Top comments
that1guyyy 12
is that the new name for penis juice now?
BoredUnicorn 6
Nasty
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Comments (191)
VenuzzRenee 4
Spludge?
bubo_fml 11
If that's the case, let her clean your "dirty" sock pile!
Tkao96 0
LMAO! 1 Mom, 0 OP.
sgtbobbyboy 0
I've hear a lot of moms day a lot of thing but I think that jst about topps it off!!
Fortitudine 3
Moms say the darndest things
dragonsspitfire 0
That's attractive O_O
xiperugby 0
that's why ya use tissues or a girls va jay jay
penguinazul 13
This happened to me once; I was masturbating in my bedroom one night before I went to sleep, and I was so tired afterward that I just wrapped my toys up in a towel and put them beside my bed, with intentions of cleaning them and such when I got up. Well, the next morning, my mother comes in and decides that is a good time for her to gather up the towels in my room. I told her I would do it, but she INSISTED. Naturally, when she grabbed that certain towel, my toys fell out. She just kind of stared at them for a minute and left; fortunately she didn't say anything about it, but I was still mortified. Moral of the story? Make sure you are COMPLETELY inconspicuous when you **********. Clean and put your toys away as soon as your done, and for guys, finish in a kleenex or something; don't just cum all over your sheets. That's just nasty, anyway, lol.
saturnsonic 3
Mom FTW!!!! LOL
DOTHEFREAK 0
oooooo000oo that turns me on.