Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML
Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that I'm gay. She sympathetically patted my back and told me I don't need to make up excuses for me being so unattractive to women. FML
Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
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Top comments
taterrtots 25
at least she didn't give you a hard time about it. wink
mattzawesome 28
I don't think I can even comprehend how embarrassing that would be! Hopefully she believes you...
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Comments (87)
dezman2000 21
It's nice to know your mom accepts you for finally reconciling with your fiend.
majesticprincess 19
Things aren't always what they seem, but it's honestly so great having a mother who excepts you for you. Not everybody has that privilege.
QuaDECH 13
We all know what muscles you were working.
Remembered 14
Just remember to warm up nicely before getting all vigorous. Might help with the sex--err, workouts. Ah **** it, they can be synonymous.
doctordonna 4
totally unrelated, but your mustache is awesome.
silverstream20 20
To be fair, that did sound a bit suspect.
WOTAN1488 24
Hard spot to be in
mr_sarcastic416 29
working out with a friend in your room? no gyms around? not even any schools where you can work out at? Sounds suspect and you can see why your mom would think so... the grunts and what you were saying definitely don't help your case
Xobubblyxo 23
Well at least you have a mom that's accepting. I think this would've been a bigger FML situation if she screamed at you and kicked you out of the house. But still, FYL.
WolfGeek101 15
Eh, shit happens, parents are weird, but that does sound a tad suspect.
Sophia94 9
Working out with your best "fiend?" Were you using him (sorry didn't check what you were) as a punching bag?