Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML
Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that I'm gay. She sympathetically patted my back and told me I don't need to make up excuses for me being so unattractive to women. FML
Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
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Top comments
taterrtots 25
at least she didn't give you a hard time about it. wink
mattzawesome 28
I don't think I can even comprehend how embarrassing that would be! Hopefully she believes you...
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Comments (87)
SauceySarah 30
That is kind of weird how you guys were working out in your room. Like I need tons of space while working out or else I feel claustrophobic.
coraline123c 23
I only work out with my best fiends too
maharb01 17
"we are definitely *******. . .we are not working out! there are no stairmasters or treadmills in the room. . .and no dumbells either just my balls" ~Adam Sandler - sex or weight lifting
MrBlaTi 7
Why is this a FML? Just explain the situation to your mother and be happy you got such a nice, understanding, loving mother. The opposite -the sounds not being workout and your mom being ultraconservative- THAT would be a FML
Imareth 10
How is this FML? You found out your mother accepts you regardless of sexual preference. That's not even remotely a bad thing.
FutureSurgeon 16
She sounds like a caring parent :) But I feel for you OP, once a parent has that sort of notion in their head it can be difficult to dispel. Personally, I'd play it up so that you can have girls stay over :P
bcausefuthatswhy 6
Working out or "Working out"?
rabbiddog 13
Friends feinds same thing
jables38 11
I feel like what she thought was going on would be less embarrassing than telling each other how hard you over working out.
writerchic85 26
Maybe she knew you were working out and just accepted you as a meathead work-out guy?