Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML
Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that I'm gay. She sympathetically patted my back and told me I don't need to make up excuses for me being so unattractive to women. FML
Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
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Top comments
taterrtots 25
at least she didn't give you a hard time about it. wink
mattzawesome 28
I don't think I can even comprehend how embarrassing that would be! Hopefully she believes you...
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Comments (87)
snowflake2410 3
Lol reminds me of 22 jump street when Schmidt was spying on Zook and Jenko working out, and someone knock on the door and he's crying and yelling, "There's a sock on the door, don't come in! I'm having sex with a human woman!"
xbaconator9000x 16
... You talk about how "Hard" you are when you work out? ...bro...
Avbone 5
What else would you be talking about?
JBChristian 47
Fake. Saw on iFunny a couple days ago. That's where this story came from.
Robby2448 20
It's ok bro, the first step is acceptance.
Drosophila82 18
Just keep the door open next time, of get a gym membership.
Naggie_May23 6
On the upside, at least you know she'll still love you no matter your sexual preferences. Not that many parents are that supportive. In all seriousness: Just tell her the truth.
Tannasgh 22
Huh huh huh...you said "hard"
cireofmi 9
Why is this is even a FML? You have a supportive parent, how bad of a life you must have.
macen 10
But the best thing here is that your mom loves and accepts you no matter what. Wouldn't that be great to find out?