Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML
Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that I'm gay. She sympathetically patted my back and told me I don't need to make up excuses for me being so unattractive to women. FML
Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
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Top comments
taterrtots 25
at least she didn't give you a hard time about it. wink
mattzawesome 28
I don't think I can even comprehend how embarrassing that would be! Hopefully she believes you...
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Comments (87)
worldclassrager 41
No ranting about being gay...I'd take it
TiggyBonkers 32
Suuuure. Of course. Whatever you say! Just remember we love you too and totally support you and your friends, uh, work out sessions!
MrThump 16
You work out in your room with your friend and tell each other your hard? Was you door shut for your mum to get the wrong idea? No wonder your mum thinks your ball slapping each other's butts.
Alicimo 11
Well at least you know your mom is open minded and accepting of your life choices! :)
TheJasonLi 13
FYL, a quick explanation should clear things up though. Next time, try going to a gym if possible.
RealSuperSand 21
HA! Gaaaaaaains!
1dvos_grl3 21
Sure sounds like it..
DedeleMan 21
This took a turn
seriouslygrowup 11
ive never heard anyone at the gym talk about how hard they are while/after a workout, and I roll with body builders...
Kielnmsoftly 26
Don't worry bro I've been through that so many ones. It's really shitty since me and my friend just hang out to play games or watch anime but like our rooms hot so without going into our rooms, you would only be able to think or one reason for us to be shirtless and sweaty with our hair ****** up. Just don't mention any man-crushes soon and you'll be fine.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
.... Umm, playing video games and watching Anime don't account for why your hair would be all messed up. Technically even taking off your shirt doesn't account for that unless you decided to rub your shirt around on it for no reason as you yanked it off.