Today, my mom still hasn't gotten over the novelty of our brand new microwave. We've been eating hot pockets for nearly a week now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML
Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some Lean Pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML
Today, all three of my meals consisted of two Hot Pockets. FML
Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML
Today, my mother went shopping. She bought three boxes of Popsicles and a giant stuffed dog. She did not buy dinner or toilet paper. I've eaten nothing but cereal and popcorn for three days now. FML
Today, my always over-emotional husband burst into sobs when I thanked him for making me lunch. Apparently, I did not compliment his cooking enough. He microwaved me a Hot Pocket; it was still frozen in the middle. FML
Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
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Top comments
txgirl2013 14
Hot Pockets are good!
DjBlaze 0
That sounds amazing
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Comments (121)
Jazz55 1
...I love Hot Pockets.
travis1228 1
dead pockets!
mitchell137 0
I would like to have those every day!
mojojojo91 6
hey, I've got an idea. why don't we get a poptart and shove some nasty meat in it?
LarRy_PokR_ 0
And that's wrong???
XxHowToLovexX 2
Damnn! They'ree Good A'F ! I Wouldn'tt Bee Complaiiningqq Shiitt. ! But Tell yourr Momm TO Gett Herr Ass Too Thaa Stovee Ndd Coook Somee Actuall Foood. -___-
coltsrock37 15
now put your ipod in the microwave, and play Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift, and let the irony seep in
PrimeStarscream 30
HAHAHAHA A+
kawaiianime 5
go eat some peanut butter. problem solved. *____*
InYourAtmosphere 0
This is when you go shopping, grab a cookbook, and learn to cook. It's good practice.
boatkicker 5
Either go in the kitchen and make dinner yourself, or take over the microwave and make something else. I'm sure your mother will be thrilled to find out that you can bake potatoes in the microwave. And it only takes 5-10 minutes, as opposed to the hour it would take to actually bake them. Amazing!