Today, my mom still hasn't gotten over the novelty of our brand new microwave. We've been eating hot pockets for nearly a week now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML
Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some Lean Pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML
Today, all three of my meals consisted of two Hot Pockets. FML
Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML
Today, my mother went shopping. She bought three boxes of Popsicles and a giant stuffed dog. She did not buy dinner or toilet paper. I've eaten nothing but cereal and popcorn for three days now. FML
Today, my always over-emotional husband burst into sobs when I thanked him for making me lunch. Apparently, I did not compliment his cooking enough. He microwaved me a Hot Pocket; it was still frozen in the middle. FML
Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
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Top comments
txgirl2013 14
Hot Pockets are good!
DjBlaze 0
That sounds amazing
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Comments (121)
beachchick22 0
hot pockets arent the only microwave food..
picklemonger 13
Go on YouTube and search for "jim gaffigan hot pockets".
Kavik_Wolfie 2
Ham & Cheese? :D
a7x_RoCk3r 12
who said you had to eat it?
sexxme 9
hey at least she feeds you. my mom always says "god gave you hands, use them". consider yourself lucky my friend.
chicfuzzball 0
i dont see how ur life sucks i mean all i want to eat is hot pockets
badactor009 0
News flash sweet pea. If you are old enough to post on this site you can probably hoist yourself off the couch and go figure out what groceries and that kitchen are all about. Talk about entitlement mentality! Make a meal yourself you lazy twit. I hope your mom never cooks for you again.
Contankerton 2
Sounds like it's time for an early Christmas present.... a BRAND NEW DIGITAL OVEN!
Flutist 3
Op, and you lack the ability to cook because? Unless Hot Pockets are the only thing in the house, start cooking. I hate when people assume its "mom's" job to cook everything. Maybe your mom is tired of cooking for your family and having no one help out? If you have a dad or second mom tell them you will cook if they provide the money for the food. You are obviously able to work a computer so I imagine making something simple like sandwiches or soup wouldn't be too hard.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
What, no one else in the house, including you, can cook?