Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to see my girlfriend to talk about my anxiety, because it's been a big issue. She broke up with me instead. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, my girlfriend got very mad at me after finding several appointments with "Amanda" in my calendar. Amanda is my psychiatrist. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked how I was feeling, because I’ve been feeling down and experiencing a lot of anxiety lately. I said was feeling a lot better and that I finally think I’m on my way to getting well. She didn't agree, and started a fight about it. FML
Today, my girlfriend ended things. We'd had issues because of my communication skills and her confidence, but we were working on it. The last straw? That I couldn't stay with her one night because I suddenly had to go home and take care of my sick mother. She then asked to talk and said I was neglecting her. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
God, you people are so insensitive! The girlfriend obviously DOES have kuru, OCD, achalasia, melanoma, Crohn's disease, Budd-Chiari malformation, Wolf-Parkinson-White syndrome, Boerhaave's syndrome, acoustic neuroma, cholecystitis, Cushing syndrome, supraventricular tachycardia, toxoplasmosis, and tribadism. I could be wrong on that last one.
0671241409 0
hmmm I'm no doctor, but I think she may be wrong
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Comments (76)
0671241409 0
hmmm I'm no doctor, but I think she may be wrong
shadowblade525 3
there's an actual neurological disorder which causes close to any phobia you can think of, not sure what it's called but I have met people who have the disorder
afdude87 6
she could be crazy. or trying to get rid of you. or she's just crazy.
chippa 24
Or she could be a hypochondriac. Hmm, I wonder.
ifyouseekamy666 0
(to the tune of 3 by Brittney spears) 1,2,3, no she's not just crazy, she wants to get rid of op, and she's a hypochondri[ac] (it better send this time!!)
haleymay177 0
haha :D
afdude87 6
haha nice.
hottyinabag12345 0
hahah
BikeAllDay818 6
find yourself a new girl bro!
maybaybe 0
Agreed
crisniyana1122 0
This chick sounds nuts...dead her crazy ass
Prolusive 5
That's pretty SELFish!
afdude87 6
band wagon fail
Prolusive 5
May you please enlighten me as to what a 'Band wagon fail' is?
Kukua 5
It means you tried to jump on the pun bandwagon and missed.
Acousticpixie14 6
Dude, dump her. Someone like that just wants attention.
TOADified 0
if you've never had hypochondria then you wouldn't know. you really think that you have the disease. speaking from experience
FarSide 23
Man, do yourself a favor... and run like you stole it.
TheDrifter 24
The sex must be amazing, the crazy ones are always the most fun in the sack.
sourgirl101 29
As true as this might seem, I think you'll need to find a different type of crazy. I doubt a hypochondriac would allow you too get as freaky as you may wish. Don't you worry drifter, there's a crazy out there just for you!(:
lovexbox 8
You want crazy fun, hun. Not crazy psychotic.
afdude87 6
lovexbox speaks the truth
BogJuan 5
She obviously does have a neurological disorder. I don't see where she did something wrong.
DjeePee 25
No, she obviously does have hypochondria, which means that she thinks (!) she has very much medical problems, while she hasn't.
macskapingvin 0
She has a psychosomatic disorder, not a neurological one.
FYLDeep 26
I believe that irrationally thinking you have health problems is a neurological disorder. Edit: Maybe the person above me is right.
flipstar530 0
find a new gf..... she's crazy and just wants attention
brighteyes81 0
Do some research idiot.
ancora 1
I agree that trying to get her to see a therapist is important, especially if it's hindering her relationships with other people, or interfering with her life in general.
USAF_girl 3
Don't bother to help her, just dump her. Not your problem! haha
Hiimhaileypotter 53
59's a bitch.
bayonet 0
Run
mkrone 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Zebidee 9
Tell her you've done extensive research on the internet, and it turns out you're sick of her crap.
underpaid011 0
that's awesome! hope you don't mind if I steal that line :)