Today, my mom still hasn't gotten over the novelty of our brand new microwave. We've been eating hot pockets for nearly a week now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML
Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some Lean Pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML
Today, all three of my meals consisted of two Hot Pockets. FML
Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML
Today, my mother went shopping. She bought three boxes of Popsicles and a giant stuffed dog. She did not buy dinner or toilet paper. I've eaten nothing but cereal and popcorn for three days now. FML
Today, my always over-emotional husband burst into sobs when I thanked him for making me lunch. Apparently, I did not compliment his cooking enough. He microwaved me a Hot Pocket; it was still frozen in the middle. FML
Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
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Top comments
txgirl2013 14
Hot Pockets are good!
DjBlaze 0
That sounds amazing
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Comments (121)
FarSide 23
WOW! I love hot pockets. Almost as much as hot zippers!
cudi504 4
no.
perdix 31
Yes. I totally agree. I just can't decide whether Jim Gaffigan is the cause of the mother's obsession with Hot Pockets, or the potential cure. Hot Pockets!
citylife9 0
FYL
DerpyHooves 0
Do you lack arms? Make your own food.
lipfullacope 0
wouldn't you feel like a huge dick if op didn't have arms? lol
kewlstoribro 6
if the op didnt have arms.... i think typing his response would have been hardly possible...
PeteyPablo12308 20
Hot pockets!!! ?
PeteyPablo12308 20
Hot pockets!!! ?
thelastlucifer 17
pizza pops are awesome
rmeyer6 0
she does know that microwaves were invented in 1955, right?
SamAnnand 0
hot pockets are the shit!
life_lol 0
and there's something wrong with that?
TheTwistedOtaku 16
I don't see a problem here. Hot Pockets kick ass.