Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had no choice but to shit himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he'd pooped in. FML
Today, I found a thong at my boyfriend's house. When I confronted him about it, he panicked and claimed it was his mom's. Right. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture. In the mirror I could see a bra and thong sitting on his bed. They weren't mine. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom changing. She was trying on a thong my boyfriend bought me for Valentine's Day. It looks better on her. FML
Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Hey at least she seemed to be cool about it
flockz 20
now orange you glad your mom didn't raisin hell for that pear of banana boxers? please, honeydew a normal date next time and save your passionfruit for the bedroom. you cantaloupe have your boyfriend's acorny boxers if your mom does the laundry. fig(ure) a better place to olive, and then your boyfriend can squash you with his cucumber and everything will be peachy.
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Comments (155)
White_Knightspc 0
If you went camping with your boyfriend, I'm sure your mom knows you were peeling some bananas in your tent.
JinxosGirl87 0
At least it wasn't a man thong.
Daydreemdie 0
True that !!! :)
iliketurdles 7
I believe the term you were looking for was "True DAT', Implying that the 'th' sound was more of a 'D' in an attempt to sound cool.
sheethapins 13
And I'm assuming the "d" in your name is an attempt to sound cool as well, unless we are to assume you like shit?
duhWINNING2_fml 9
Stewie just said that!
KiddNYC1O 22
Ok, don't pick on zombie kid.
ah21 0
Hello
Mach10 0
Banana-hammock
deadbabies 0
Did you ring ring ring ring ring ring ring his banana phone?
cargaljen 8
Thanks. Now that song is stuck in my head! Ha ha though! Not sure if those who thumbed this down know that song.
UnjustifiedClaim 15
You should be thankful for having an understanding mother. Most Mothers would make "Banana Split" out of it.
graham11 14
Oh shit.. I'm fortunate all of the mothers i know aren't pervs
Enslaved 38
She probably just thinks they belong to you. Many girls wear boxers, especially to sleep in. And who doesn't loves bananas!?(:
rhysfucker 24
Wanda Sykes, Rosie O'Donnell, probably not big banana fans, to name a few. (Sorry; had to go there...)
Enslaved 38
That's fine by me. I'll eat their share.
rhysfucker 24
I love you and I don't even know you
rhysfucker 24
Thank you
Teyros 24
You peeled your banana too soon. Now she's going to split!
Capt_Oblivious 10
And this is a tragedy how?
karamman 5
My thoughts exactly
FayBerry 13
I have my sweetie's "Dr. Love" boxers with little hearts, bones, and prescription bottles...but I'm old enough that my mom no longer does my laundry.
Torva_fml 16
You're a single mom, living at home.... That has a sweetie? Ooooooohhhh sooooo confusing... Get your facts straight and go edit your profile!
tigrouficele2012 44
Q: You know why sex when camping is so great? A: Because it's ******* in tents! ---bash.org
Daydreemdie 0
Lol don't hate on this comment cause it is funny :)
IndigoAcrylic 9
Ohmiiiigosh...That joke made my day ^_^
ikickgingers 15
Friends go camping... Friends help friends pitch tents...
cBlackout 13
My boxers have spicy wiener written down the sides and have Sausage links wrapping around.
sassypants93 17
Just tell her you liked eating that big banana. Mothers love that.