Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML
Today, I bought a pack of peanuts to share with my partner and his 16 ear-old daughter, whom I'd just been introduced to. I asked him if I could eat his peanuts as well, since he wasn't eating them and, because my greedy mouth was stuffed with my own peanuts, it came out as, "Can I eat your penis?" FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, my boyfriend got back from a long wrestling tournament. As a nice surprise, I decided to give him a little show over FaceTime. As soon as I stripped down into my bra and underwear, he paused the screen and started surfing the internet for new shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I gave each other early Christmas gifts. I gave him a basketball signed by his favorite player, which took me forever to find. He got me diet pills. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
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Top comments
slick5880 22
There is a special bond between a man and his nuts.
flailingCheese 5
Make a thong of peanuts.
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Comments (95)
slick5880 22
There is a special bond between a man and his nuts.
1PaulyD 9
I knew he wasn't a thong man
jetsown08 21
1- holy shit that tattoo. O_O
enormouselephant 15
He sounds nutty.
Inheritance 10
He needs energy doesn't he? Don't deny a man of his planters.
Futacy 30
Hmm... Sex...? or Peanuts...?
Futacy 30
Thong=Obstacle Peanuts=Yummy I think we all know the right choice.
Harle 24
Best comment, EVER.
flailingCheese 5
Make a thong of peanuts.
FMLKitten 15
I'd like to see this actually >:-D
gc327072 31
They do make one out of that candy bracelet stuff.
theartists 5
Stringing them together would be difficult.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I'm sure you don't want salt in your nether regions. I hope you buy them unsalted if you want them that close to your genitalia.
sarahlouise0506 10
He's nuts for nuts
Potterfreakk 6
thats the cutest puppy ever!!!
yoyoyolol08 5
He cant eat a thong, can he?
kay_princess14 7
No there is some question about that
mikeymayhem_87 15
There are edible ones sadly. Either in fruit roll-up or candy form. Seems a tad too kinky to me lol
annie_nk 23
Unless it's a candy thong. :)
zingline89 18
No but he can eat what's underneath :)
annie_nk 23
I bet that gave the cashier a few interesting thoughts lol
theartists 5
Isn't that a good thing? How awful would it be if you had a boyfriend that ALWAYS and only wanted to have sex with you. Let him enjoy his peanuts, I'm sure he was happy about your thong too.
amandajlucas2015 2
Lol ya after awhile guys generally lose interest in ur underwear.. To them they are just In the way
perdix 31
Of course, he's not excited about thong. He doesn't want that string up his ass and his balls squeezed into that tiny pouch.
a_commenter 3
Hawt.
MikeMikeTheAzn 3
Hell I'd choose peanuts anyday.
FlyingPie 17
I think it's interesting that you used the wording "that day" - Was it not today?
SecretMe00 5
I actually noticed that too. It's oddly worded.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Yet if he was more excited about the thing he would be accused of only wanting sex :/
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Thong* Stupid iPhone autocorrect :P