Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
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Top comments
dobiesFTW 1
watch out for the guy saying, "rehab? you came to rehab for cigarettes? I used to suck dick for coke. have you ever sucked dick for cigarettes?!"
alunajoy 5
Rehab just for cigarettes?
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Comments (336)
jameses19 0
I actually just got out of rehab for alcohol and there's a big difference between casual drinking and an actual drinking problem. cigarettes on the other hand is just plain rediculous.
perdix 31
Rehab for cigarettes? Are you blowing smoke up our ass? We're not getting the real story -- were those "cigarettes" full of that Wacky-Tobaccy? Deganges ain't just a river in India! Maybe you'll see Amy Winehouse there. She doesn't do anything worse than cigarettes.
Daederoth 10
They have rehab for cigs? You have got to be ******** me. Its not freckin' meth or heroine. It doesn't hurt to come down. Rediculous.
5t3ff1k4h 47
This is why you mooch off of friends if there's even a slight chance you won't become hooked or you won't like it. First timers are so dumb...
lawlius 0
I'm sure you speak from experience, considering you've made at least 3 different arguments in the comments. Do you honestly think anyone cares, or is taking your advice seriously? bawwwwww.
5t3ff1k4h 47
I don't particularly care what you or anyone else thinks. I've only ever smoked half a cigarette in my life and it's staying that way. Kindly refrain from making useless comments.
loselos 0
there's nothing better then kissing an ash tray
disney_blonde 16
If you didn't like it, why did you keep the pack around?
Snerdatron 0
1. Normal people don't go and buy a pack before they've even tried it. 2. If you didn't like it then why did you keep them?
xFaust_fml 12
1. I did, I was selfconscious and didn't want my friends to see me try one, in case I started coughing or do it "wrong". 2. Then I kept the pack until I could give it to a smoker friend of mine (well, sell it^^) So yeah, it's completely possible.
kiakia0131 23
So you went out and bought a whole pack of cigs just to try one? Jeeze, I just bummed one off my friend. Oh well, since you don't like them sell them to your friends.
ismokepot 0
ur mom's a ******* retard!!!!
yeahiknow0 0
Ew gross. You sooo deserved it for trying.