Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother is getting married to my crush of 7 years. To make that even worse, they're moving in with me. FML
Today, I managed to convince the girl of my dreams to stop being so shy, and put herself out there to get her crush to make a move. It worked. And yet as it turns out, I'm not her crush after all. FML
Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl has a crush on me. Too bad it's my co-worker's five year old granddaughter. FML
Today my brother tried to teach me the merits of stalking women on Facebook, gave me a tutorial on how to use improper grammar and spelling to woo them and finally, "using misinformation to start a conversation." He's getting married soon. The last time I kissed a woman was 4 months ago. FML
Today, I found out that my six year-old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML
Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML
Today, I finally had an opportunity to flirt with the guy I have a crush on. We danced together all night and everything was going well… too well apparently, because out of nowhere, he kissed my sister, who knew about my crush on him but still kissed him back. FML
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Top comments
Queen_Cosmos 7
I wish that would work for me.
Torch15 9
"you've got a sexy farm"
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Comments (180)
Queen_Cosmos 7
I wish that would work for me.
folfg0 12
The kid has to be like 10-12! There is NO way this works... If it does.... I'm going to start believing in eugenics.
ColdplaySucks 18
Perhaps I should try this with my neopets account...
hellaflushfa5 6
Kids got swag
ilovesuju 10
#20 you killed me with that comment.
RaggleFrock 13
She's just using him to send her neon cows!
Drigr 9
I can't wait til I live in a world where I can approach a woman and go, "Hey babe, I got a level 50 cleric in RIFT" and walk out with her on my arm.
shaddol3lade 7
Kill him
idntwannaknow 3
I miss the 90's...
MDTeddy 13
I am a level 200 ice/lightning archmage. I am sure someone is impressed.
daddyluiigi 3
I hope my call of duty rank impresses my crush to
aaahhhfire21 0
That is sad farmville is stupid and boring and your bro and his new gf/bf (whichever) are pretty retarded for thinking that's cool
Futacy 30
OP, yo just jealous.
Sansa_fml 38
"I have nothing better to do than playing farmville. Impressed?"
Pelvispresley 8
He sounds like a really lucky man.
Purplefluff 6
Reading that while looking at your profile pic makes it sound sarcastic In my head
capper44 18
Damn look at irony of ur comment and ur picture .... Its funny
Pelvispresley 8
Yeah even when I laugh it looks sarcastic. Lol
Dr0reos 8
Wait really OP??? *Boards first rocket off this doomed planet*
HonestTruth 5
Nice avatar Presley :/
Pelvispresley 8
I can tell you are a very handsome man by your picture @128
Theringking 1
Wow... AYFKM PARTY!!!!! WOO (Are You F Kidding Me) Ps. When does the Narwhal bacon?
StillUsesMyspace 22
I doubt it 2, the bro's new girlfriend is probably just a farm digger. Just as soon as as she she's that level 501 farm she'll be gone!
Thisismypchere 8
I'll have to get a one way ticket off this planet
Thejackel79 9
I'm getting a ship to Mars ready to go.
ebonyirony 29
are we going to pigfarts?
yunilee7 4
Or we can give all the people ruining today's world a one way ticket off this planet, that way the good people of society can stay.
GracesDelirium 9
But we'd better be quiet, or we could disturb Rumbleroar's sleeping cubs.
keenflow 2
45- dnt we all wish that would happen. But I personally think that if we did ship them all off the world, we wouldn't have the enjoyment of watching their **** ups on fml.
Zomg_Okay 27
76 - Get one of the people staying here to develop an Internet link with Mars so they can keep us rolling in FMLs. But this planet is in such an awful state I'm not even sure we should let the idiots leave. It wouldn't be fair on Mars.
Ambreanna 0
"Nothing to do here"
feldco1 17
Sounds like someone's just jealous that they can't use that to get the ladies
WiderWille 11
I think he is just jealous because couldn't get any girls with his lvl 100 Pikachu at his brothers age. But seriously, his brother is a child and the priorities are different. Let him grow up, if tries rhis with 18 again, shoot him!
Torch15 9
"you've got a sexy farm"
ebonyirony 29
Can I help you with those crops?
olpally 33
Your corn stalks are so big!!
thisisafunnyname 12
Nice melons.
Il_Maestro 6
Yeah you right, hoe!
xDMACx12 7
80- No. It should have been. Yeah, and now that I've got a hoe up in this joint. I can harvest those big melons.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"Yo, Yo, Yo. I got some benches, now hand me my hoe, ho."
Inheritance 10
Omg so many farm neighbors! Oh are those strawberries? May I help you harvest those? ;)
csickcman 11
"Can you help me with it? It needs plowing."
SystemofaBlink41 27
Can we end it here, please?
Il_Maestro 6
89- What can I say, you delivered it much better hah
iwadasn 33
Take comfort in the fact that they'll never reproduce.
itssosparkly 21
Of course they will. When the relationship gets serious, I'm sure they will breed many a digital sheep together.
mrmerino 0
No no. At some point they will take to the bedroom and awkwardly smash privates.
thisisafunnyname 12
I can tell that when he has a midlife crisis, he's gonna buy a tractor instead of a ferrari.
rizzybear 4
I'd smash.
ManInTheMachine 20
Not at the rate your comments are going.
zack11742 7
59 perfect just perfect
rizzybear 4
i noticed, i hope my ones in the future are better
bowser_rawr16 13
That's pretty funny, but It's also kind of sad that this is what the world is coming to.
saksxalmo 20
It's not "the world", nor is it "this generation." There are stupid people in EVERY generation, that doesn't mean everyone in that age group is the same. At least THIS generation didn't make black people use separate bathrooms.
misterjez 15
You don't know that yet...
shrdlu 28
The world has always seemed like that. Watch some 1950s rebellious teen motorcycle or gang movies. Notice how the parents there are convinced the younger generation is going to hell in a handbasket. Then think -- those teen rebels are your grandparents' generation.
EyesofStone 27
Thank you, 71. Thank you. Not everyone is an idiot.
CheerBaby97 9
and this applies to your life how..?
ICastillo 25
Well at least he's got game.
MEM0817 18
.... Literally.
Deserthoney 7
Ahahahaha this made me lol.