Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML
Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML
Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years got down on one knee with the most beautiful ring box I’d ever seen. My heart raced and my eyes immediately filled with tears in anticipation! When he finally opened it, a fucking spider was inside! I nearly shat myself in terror while he laughed hysterically. FML
Today, my girlfriend, KNOWING I have severe arachnophobia, changed the wallpapers on my phone and tablet to pictures of tarantulas, all because she's mad at me. And she won't change it back. FML
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
Today, I found out my husband put a parental block on the TV so I couldn't rent a movie. I'm 42. FML
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Top comments
fmljerry26 3
Spiderman obviously.
LordoftheOcelots 10
C'mon people, use your head. We all know Charlotte's Web takes the cake.
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Comments (168)
LetsBeRealistic 3
What a pussy. Get a bew bf
danidino96 8
Then maybe you should pay more attention to your children so they won't have to act out to get any kind of attention from you.
slendamon 0
My fiance and i are arachniphobic, yet she still makes me kill if a spider comes along... just tell him to grow some balls
Fou_Lou 20
Thats sexist. You should take turns killing them since your both in the same position.
Sentrylegend 3
Wait an aracnaphobe is a person who fears spiders wtf
Steffi 26
YDI for not putting more information in the fml.
jacob9610 7
Was it harry potter and the chamber of secrets
thekirby 7
Spider-Man??
worldclassrager 41
You might be better off swapping out discs so you don't lose the disc or just have a few extra copies on hand
queenbee3401 15
I wonder what the movie is, I really want to see it now that it involves spiders
isquaredkeepingitreal 24
I think the husband made a nice gesture. I know it takes away the surprise, but I would really appreciate the thought. I hate a certain kind of horror video game, but I bought my fiance it anyways. I felt bad because I asked him not to play it around me on work nights, but he was extremely happy that I even bought it for him (He can still play in the living room those night). Turns out, he wanted the game for over a week, but felt guilty buying it for himself knowing how much the game would give me nightmares.