Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML
Today, at 4:30 a.m., I hit a deer on the freeway on my way to work. I've only had this car for 6 months and it's totaled. I had to wait hours for a tow. On his way to pick me up, my husband's radiator blew and his serpentine belt shredded. I also missed a day of work. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML
Today, the driver side mirror of my car was smashed off and laying on the ground. On the window was a $75.00 ticket for improper equipment for not having a mirror. FML
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Top comments
Beckleyy 15
What a ******* idiot...
grahambertus 11
What a flocking idiot
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Comments (97)
False_Stupidity 42
Why would he want to hurt vultures what did they do to him
calilovesneb 12
How CRUEL!!! I could never willingly run over any sort of animal, dead or alive. ESPECIALLY alive.
friisen_ 0
Lol you said I do - what's yours is mine.
SoultheWolf 19
I don't get why you're saying YOU have to pay for it. You guys are married, you aren't the only one having to waste money to fix it, your husband is too.
Jasonf6 0
Your husband is a ******* asshole who gets off killing animals. He should be in jail. Douchebag.
MidnightOne 3
I love how it's OUR money when the husband wants/needs to spend it, but MY money when it's something she needs.
wolfette0008 1
The bird didn't hit the car. You hit the bird.
pride85 0
Ha let men be men
DanielleinDC 34
Well, real men don't think it's "funny" to drive through a flock of birds in order to hurt them.
NiyaNa 3
Oh. So basically, you're married to an asshole. **** your life indeed.