Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML
Today, at 4:30 a.m., I hit a deer on the freeway on my way to work. I've only had this car for 6 months and it's totaled. I had to wait hours for a tow. On his way to pick me up, my husband's radiator blew and his serpentine belt shredded. I also missed a day of work. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML
Today, the driver side mirror of my car was smashed off and laying on the ground. On the window was a $75.00 ticket for improper equipment for not having a mirror. FML
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Top comments
Beckleyy 15
What a ******* idiot...
grahambertus 11
What a flocking idiot
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Comments (97)
KVKdragon 26
Why does mankind feel the need to abuse nature whenever they are driving cars and etc? It never ceases to amaze me how stupid and cruel some people can be for doing that kind of thing on purpose.
Ameronot 14
Uhu! Poor vulture :-(
easton222 2
I hate women like you blaming life's problems on men.
xleanne_aLly 23
It's anyone really...one time I seen someone purposely swish a poor little turtle :( People are ******* assholes these days.
Ameel_fml 19
I agree. I just found out last weekend that one of my best friends (who I thought was a decent guy) deliberately swerves to hit cats. He thinks it's a "bonus" if they don't die on impact. I don't know why the **** he told me this. He knows I love (and own two) cats. Made me sick to my stomach.
ninjadinos 14
60- mankind: the human race collectively. She wasn't blaming it on men, she was talking about humans in general.
KVKdragon 26
I'd like to clarify that I'm a man, not a woman :(
KVKdragon 26
Good thing I'm not that kind of woman then, I'm a man :P
ninjadinos 14
Oops! Sorry. xD
DanielleinDC 34
#69 I hope he's no longer your friend. Too bad you have no proof of this. Shitheels like that dude deserve to spend some time in prison. As for the OP, hubby better take responsibility for getting the mirror fixed--as in, HE takes it to the repair shop, and he assumes the costs (if they have separate accounts), and he does something to make it up to her for damaging her car. And OP: Never lend him your car again. He can freaking walk.
gracehi 33
Was he trying to run over the vultures? I know vultures aren't the most popular animals, but that's just cruel. Make him pay for the mirror, either in cash or deprivation of other privileges ie sex and sleeping in the bed.
TomHarrow 5
Buzzard*
iamyummylicious 14
It clearly states vultures you dolt.
failgamer 7
Ha dolt, haven't heard that one in a while, cheers to bringing old words back!
HorsesNThorns 3
Does anyone know the difference between a vulture and a buzzard? Obviously not... Buzzards are American.. Vultures are not.
TomHarrow 5
Actually there are two different vultures in the U.S. Turkey vulture and black vulture. Buzzed is an old European term for any sort of predatory bird. Now used in the U.S. to describe carrion eaters or vultures.
bigdipper32 5
I? how bout we? ur married. get used to it
False_Stupidity 42
How bout we? Start? Making sense? And not using? So many f*cking? Question marks??
lovesthebeach 0
Did the idiot think before he did this . Vultures are fairly big and there have been cases where they have broken windshields .
linkinpark98 24
He shouldn't have rammed them in the first ******* place. :P
sougstad 7
You should make your husband eat road kill now! Don't make him anymore dinner!!
l0v3p4in 7
"Honey, this is the dinner you killed for us today. To save some money for the repairs to the mirror, I have cut up the bird into enough servings to last us for the rest of the week. Eat up and enjoy, dear."
xXSmilezXX 7
That's fishy oh wait...birds
cherry72 13
Why do u keep Responding to every FML with the same response? U don't make any sense... Just saying.
Mikmeister 3
Till death do us part? Challenge accepted
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Hehehe How I Met Your Mother ;)
MoodyBlue320 11
YDI for marrying a douchebag.
FMLsOhilarious 6
Why do you have to pay for it? He's the one who pretty much ruined it. I would make his dumb ass pay for it.
sunflower226 0
what's mine is yours...