Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML
Today, at 4:30 a.m., I hit a deer on the freeway on my way to work. I've only had this car for 6 months and it's totaled. I had to wait hours for a tow. On his way to pick me up, my husband's radiator blew and his serpentine belt shredded. I also missed a day of work. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML
Today, the driver side mirror of my car was smashed off and laying on the ground. On the window was a $75.00 ticket for improper equipment for not having a mirror. FML
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Top comments
Beckleyy 15
What a ******* idiot...
grahambertus 11
What a flocking idiot
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Comments (97)
angelinaanimerg 7
What a sick bastard
juturnaamo 29
Did you know you were marrying a psychopath?
flea_of_death 23
Hey, for all you know, he could have saved a baby lion that went on to defeat his crazy uncle and save his pride! =D any Disney fans out there? XD
mrblinkme 0
Just like timon and pumba?
KiddNYC1O 22
If only it were a flock of seagulls...
ptrox123 2
Correction: your husband is paying for the replacement
wobbledewobble 6
that's horrible that he thought that was funny.
iiFrench_Fries 5
Make his ass pay for that glass!!
oarisimo 4
That husband of yours is a complete idiot. Not only was he dumb enough not to think something like that would happen, but what kind of person just drives through a flock of birds which is obviously going to hurt or kill them? Oh yeah I know who, your dumbass husband.
Cenobyte 10
YDI! You married that spiteful bastard! And YDI for thinking that your mirror is more important than the injured bird!