Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I watched my 35 year-old husband start up a new video game. He named his character "Boner." FML
Today, it's my husband's birthday. I tried to buy him a new computer game, to which he complained. I cooked him steak and his favorite cake, and got him another nice gift instead. Hours later, his online friends bought him a new game and it was the only time I saw him genuinely smile. FML
Today, my husband spent all day on Skyrim trying out trick archery shots, things like shooting the butterflies, shooting a running rabbit, shooting himself by firing into the air. Meanwhile, I’d been at work, the kitchen was a mess, he didn’t walk the dog, and he missed my Amazon delivery. FML
Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML
Today, I found out my husband doesn't love me. At all. He told me this while playing Call of Duty with his friends with his microphone on. FML
Today, as he has all day for the last 3 days, my husband has been playing Cyberpunk 2077. However, it's my birthday. When I mentioned this fact, I was told to just walk the 4 miles to the store and buy a cake, "if it matters so much." I have celiac and he spent our grocery money on the game. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML
Today, I woke up to my partner showering me with love and gifts. Confused, I asked, "What's the occasion?" It was our anniversary. Not only had I forgotten, but I'd also scheduled a gaming marathon with friends for the entire day. FML
Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
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Top comments
19990231 29
Who has time for women where you have doom!
spatula232 25
Someone's doomed
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Comments (99)
nightwalker707 8
the brain only remembers important things and discards all the junk mail it takes in. sorry you bday wasn't important enough to remember but gun locations are
cdncw 20
No comment - this one's just TOO good :D (Hopefully it was the original Doom)
jazzyjazz04 14
Priorities!
olillia 16
Fun fact: I know the creator of Doom. Used to do Judo with him in Garland, Texas of all places. He's super nice. He's also kicked my ass on multiple occasions. And no. Not virtually.
krad204 21
I think I like your husband, he's a massive nerd.. But how do you forgot your spouses birthday?
shujaswati 20
Well Doom is something to be remember :)