Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I watched my 35 year-old husband start up a new video game. He named his character "Boner." FML
Today, it's my husband's birthday. I tried to buy him a new computer game, to which he complained. I cooked him steak and his favorite cake, and got him another nice gift instead. Hours later, his online friends bought him a new game and it was the only time I saw him genuinely smile. FML
Today, my husband spent all day on Skyrim trying out trick archery shots, things like shooting the butterflies, shooting a running rabbit, shooting himself by firing into the air. Meanwhile, I’d been at work, the kitchen was a mess, he didn’t walk the dog, and he missed my Amazon delivery. FML
Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML
Today, I found out my husband doesn't love me. At all. He told me this while playing Call of Duty with his friends with his microphone on. FML
Today, as he has all day for the last 3 days, my husband has been playing Cyberpunk 2077. However, it's my birthday. When I mentioned this fact, I was told to just walk the 4 miles to the store and buy a cake, "if it matters so much." I have celiac and he spent our grocery money on the game. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML
Today, I woke up to my partner showering me with love and gifts. Confused, I asked, "What's the occasion?" It was our anniversary. Not only had I forgotten, but I'd also scheduled a gaming marathon with friends for the entire day. FML
Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
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Top comments
19990231 29
Who has time for women where you have doom!
spatula232 25
Someone's doomed
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Comments (99)
AutumnHerondale 14
Priorities
tuxedoandex 28
priorities
Levvy 22
He may have been BSing you. "Shotgun" and "Chainsaw" don't have "model numbers".
thecrazymancan 17
Sometimes people can't control what they memorize. For example: I can't remember the names of anyone at my church, but I can remember pi to 46 decimal places.
coraline123c 23
Take advantage of this, just tell him it's your birthday like every 3-6 months
GrimShade 3
sometimes it not all about memory, but triggering the memory...
DanielleinDC 34
I'm sometimes amazed at the stuff that sticks in my brain while other stuff just passes through brain cells on the way to the Island of Lost Memories. But he should at least remember your birthday. Or he could be really bad with dates, in which case, he needs to set reminders on his smart phone (if he has one) so he doesn't forget.
ShunGokuSatsu 5
im interested in knowing the BFG's model number
Mr23 9
The what? weapons in Doom have super-generic names (like "pistol" and "rocket launcher", except "BFG-9000", which sounds official, but is humorous) and unless you're talking about sprites (animations in the game) they don't have model numbers. Your husband was just trying to bullshit/impress you. Whether that makes it not an FML is debatable.
TallMist 32
OR the guns in the game are based off real life ones and he knows what each and every gun looks like, due to being an expert on them. And all gun types have model numbers.
KingreX32 21
BOOYAH!!!!