Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I watched my 35 year-old husband start up a new video game. He named his character "Boner." FML
Today, it's my husband's birthday. I tried to buy him a new computer game, to which he complained. I cooked him steak and his favorite cake, and got him another nice gift instead. Hours later, his online friends bought him a new game and it was the only time I saw him genuinely smile. FML
Today, my husband spent all day on Skyrim trying out trick archery shots, things like shooting the butterflies, shooting a running rabbit, shooting himself by firing into the air. Meanwhile, I’d been at work, the kitchen was a mess, he didn’t walk the dog, and he missed my Amazon delivery. FML
Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML
Today, I found out my husband doesn't love me. At all. He told me this while playing Call of Duty with his friends with his microphone on. FML
Today, as he has all day for the last 3 days, my husband has been playing Cyberpunk 2077. However, it's my birthday. When I mentioned this fact, I was told to just walk the 4 miles to the store and buy a cake, "if it matters so much." I have celiac and he spent our grocery money on the game. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML
Today, I woke up to my partner showering me with love and gifts. Confused, I asked, "What's the occasion?" It was our anniversary. Not only had I forgotten, but I'd also scheduled a gaming marathon with friends for the entire day. FML
Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
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Top comments
19990231 29
Who has time for women where you have doom!
spatula232 25
Someone's doomed
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Comments (99)
icepick23 12
If you think he loves Doom that much, but has somehow not played in ten years, you likely do not even know your own hubby.
sirrubberduckie 37
FYL9000, amirite?
HunterMark 14
If it matters, the birthday event has occurred only 6 times since your marriage. He has played doom over million times. Go figure.
jacoposki 16
Oh boo hoo, he remembers everything about a great past time of his early years, so what? There is absolutely no relation between this and the ability to remember dates. Of course it's not "YDI", but most surely it isn't FYL either. Mostly should be WDYEC? (Why do you even care?)
FFDP 5
Instill remember every hidden area, item and shortcuts in super Mario 1 and 3 on regular Nintendo and I haven't played that in forever. It's muscle memory....and in today's world most people don't remember dates, that's what Facebook is for...
JKPwnage 27
Plot twist: one-month-late surprise party
Tashido 12
he probably played doom a lot more than he celebrated your birthday tho lol
nitrog100 21
I still remember the infinite ammo cheat from Republic Commando. Pause, Y, Y, X, Down, RT, LT, RT, Up. Your birthday has only happened a couple of times in his life; Doom is forever.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Republic Commando was my shit.
duhdarling 11
You're doomed.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
He must've been obsessed with it at one point.