Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I watched my 35 year-old husband start up a new video game. He named his character "Boner." FML
Today, it's my husband's birthday. I tried to buy him a new computer game, to which he complained. I cooked him steak and his favorite cake, and got him another nice gift instead. Hours later, his online friends bought him a new game and it was the only time I saw him genuinely smile. FML
Today, my husband spent all day on Skyrim trying out trick archery shots, things like shooting the butterflies, shooting a running rabbit, shooting himself by firing into the air. Meanwhile, I’d been at work, the kitchen was a mess, he didn’t walk the dog, and he missed my Amazon delivery. FML
Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML
Today, I found out my husband doesn't love me. At all. He told me this while playing Call of Duty with his friends with his microphone on. FML
Today, as he has all day for the last 3 days, my husband has been playing Cyberpunk 2077. However, it's my birthday. When I mentioned this fact, I was told to just walk the 4 miles to the store and buy a cake, "if it matters so much." I have celiac and he spent our grocery money on the game. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML
Today, I woke up to my partner showering me with love and gifts. Confused, I asked, "What's the occasion?" It was our anniversary. Not only had I forgotten, but I'd also scheduled a gaming marathon with friends for the entire day. FML
Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
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Top comments
19990231 29
Who has time for women where you have doom!
spatula232 25
Someone's doomed
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Comments (99)
19990231 29
Who has time for women where you have doom!
Mightyrif 23
Women fine, but the ones you love you definitely make time for.
incoherentrmblr 22
Tonight at 11... DOOM!!!!!!...
DraconicFeline 31
To be fair... I can name every single Pokèmon in the Pokèdex on sight, along with its type, and can usually identify it by its cry too, but I'm terrible with things like dates. I always forget when exactly my best friend's birthday is, and I've known her since grade school. I think the only reason I remember my boyfriend's birthday is because it's nine days after my own.
ThuNDeY 23
*?
KingreX32 21
you got alpha ruby. I could use somemore friends in that game.
sullivankeara 25
Well, then you should have known his priorities before you married him.
Mightyrif 23
He could've changed after the 6 years of marriage. Let's hope he fixes his priorities soon.
sullivankeara 25
I meant beforehand lol
Pyro3000 6
It's likely he just played Doom every day when he was 10 years younger. Between his younger brain and the constant repetition he probably created permanent memory of all of it. Meanwhile he doesn't have to state his wife's birthday every day and he's far decade older now.
zykrithium 22
He doesn't have messed up priorities because he remembers stuff from a video game rather than the wife's bday. Some people are just bad with dates. I will admit that he should maybe set the day on a calendar or something.
bubina 14
People never change their priorities though.
sstahpp 33
Well..Have you played doom before? It's pretty awesome..I'm just saying.
Mightyrif 23
The person he loves is probably more awesome. Just saying.
ChristianH39 30
That was probably a joke. Just saying.
sstahpp 33
Hahaha..at least someone got it. ;)
NeatNit 33
women have such unrealistic expectations from men... how am I supposed to remember your birthday when my mind is already so full of important things like model names, map layouts, sex line phone numbers, and where I hid my weed? it's crazy
sstahpp 33
I know right!!!!!?!
PerditaDessa 38
You never know when you're going to need that BFG9000. It's completely reasonable that things like birthdays would slip one's mind.
spatula232 25
Someone's doomed
ohSNAPyall 27
That would have made a good username.
Masift 21
Why is this comment so goddamn funny XD
JustaDO_fml 14
Don't talk bad about doom that's a good game lol
gearhead369 20
That's a man for you so try not to take it personally. Ask him if he remembers when you're birthday is and he will try to make up for it for a long time!
tehdarkness 21
#priorities
Flaming_Pandas 15
You seem lost. I know the icons are the same color, but this isn't twitter.
KhaleesiDannie 26
Memory is a weird thing I can remember things from years ago when I can't remember what I did yesterday I'm sorry it happened though and he does need to make note of it for next year and make it up to you this year
mayhem372 8
I know. Can't remember birthdays but sure as hell remember the exact cheat codes to grand theft auto and conkers bad fur day
Brandi_Faith 34
I have a horrible memory, especially with birthdays, so I completely understand how someone can forget that kind of stuff. However with that said, with today's technology and everyone having phones on them, there's no reason for op not to put the birthday in his phone with an alarm going of the week before (in time to get a gift) and the day of so he remembers to say happy birthday. The calendar and reminders in my phone have saved my life, before them it was sticky notes.
MrConcise 35
In terms of memory, birthdays are harder. You just have to accept that there are 365 days in the year and most of them feel the same as the last. There aren't a lot of tricks to commit the "average" ones to memory.
kitkatjoy_96 28
A huge gamer. You have to show him you're way more important than a video game. Remind him of all the fun stuff you guys do.