Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML
Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, thanks to my ex-husband's misogyny, my son is now convinced girls are inherently weaker and that if he had to, he could beat any woman in a fight, even if she was a trained martial artist or a soldier, because, "Men are the stronger gender." I can kick both their asses, husband and son. FML
Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML
Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
I already know I'm going to hate 95% of the comments on this one.
kimuchi_warui 4
wow, someone just turned twelve.
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Comments (400)
tyheron 0
good one:)
3_elliee 0
haha good point ;)
zac12345 0
smiles :)
jdub28 0
wow...
jair_lhao 0
lmao xD true!!
denbeste 3
BRB getting a wife-beater t-shirt!
KaileeCat 0
"when she's not makin me a sammich or pleasin me she gonna get a beaten."
alex105 0
u know I am so ******* over the sandwich thing u all sexist pricks u know I am a male and I actually make sandwitches for a living ATM so shut the **** up u sexist ******* pigs
BenCakes 0
Maybe she didn't listen!? But no really did you win? That would be difficult to retort to.
alex105 0
I am a baker and part of my job is to make the sandwichs ever morning and I also make bagguets and pidas and yes I am a guy and I am happy to admit I am not a sexist pig so let me ask u wat Your job then vladzlad?
FatMooseEars 0
dude shut up gtfo suck my dock queer boy
sublimaze 6
#142: lol. nice one
raNDMGUy 5
hahahahah vladzlad
cherry_top36 1
I'm a girl and ive literally NEVER made a sandwich in my life.
stupidirish 0
you'd better be real damn good in bed then, because otherwise you have no value.
davidp_fml 0
it's a joke. lighten up people are just saying it to be funny. very few people actually think that way
goonie85 0
Well I am a woman, so can I have a sammich? Then it's not sexist, since Im a woman, you make them, and I eat them. It's a win-win for us. Go get me a sammich!!!! please....
snowball20 0
nothing wrong with making sandwiches all day.. girl or guy..
snowball20 0
I'd make my boy make me grilled cheese sandwich, since I'll prob burn them anyway.. if he makes one he gets one too.. we both win.
jon123321 0
To #171 no can't, until you do truffle shuffle.
jon123321 0
Sorry, I meant to say "no you can't" damn iPod!
chrihot4 0
time for you to give her some of that good good anal while she's peein;)
NerdyHannah 0
.... I want a Sammich too...
Mehness 0
To the baker weirdo: You're not a baker. If you were, you would at least know how to spell most of the goods that you bake.
MyStarrz 0
lmaoo @ 142 WiN!! And @ 171 BEWARE if anyone offers u a cockmeat sammich dnt take it!!! or better yet TAKE IT ALL just dont bite it or chew it
MarineOrdy 0
Your a little bitch lol habaha
TheBreaKer_fml 0
167 win!!!!!
madmonkeykilla 0
oh mycfuck man fine she can make me a burger god, lol
madmonkeykilla 0
jeez baker it don't gotta be a sammich we just prefer them
cookiemobzta 0
strongly agree with the beating, sammiches, and the domination of women
AndreaHaha 0
I don't think anyone deserves to be beaten
Drew_V 0
hahaha whoever said truffle shuffle is awesome lol
ElegantSadist 0
well maybe she did
Cricketiscool 0
Did you win the debate? Because if you did, who cares what he said. You won!
xnty 0
this is probably the most funniest fml argument ive ever read. lol keep it up.
WeStayCrunk24x7 0
theres a first time for everything now get in the kitchen
pipp360 0
thank you!!!
ReyEr9412 0
Sammich/kitchen jokes are getting REALLY old. They were funny once, bit that time has passed. Stop making them for awhile, wait until everyone has forgotten about them. Then they will be funny again.
Jayodi 0
How the hell do you manage to become a baker without knowing how to spell "Sandwiches" "baguette" and "pita"? I mean, really. Wouldn't you see it almost daily?I mean, ESPECIALLY pita. That one's just easy.
sugarbabyxoxo 2
lmfao @142
jessi_ld 2
god I hate it when ppl do that at debate tournaments but I personally stick to prose and HI lol
alex105 0
well actually pida is not spelt how u think it is (pita) it is spelt pida and I can spell sandwitch
jal10a 1
sandwich*
the_holy_one 0
ahaha awesome. He's so right. I'm wondering though, what you're doing posting stuff on fml when you should be in the kitchen making him a sandwich o_o
dinosauring 0
*Pita *Sandwich dumbass.
jal10a 1
pita is actually spelled p-i-t-a if you try looking it up in the dictionary
demomanX 0
Alex you sound like Jessie on saved by the bell, except you are making sense.
weritomexican 7
I don't think a girl should be beaten, maybe restrained but not beaten. question of debate: what if she comes at you with a knife or other weapon????
daofao3 0
ur 10....
weritomexican 7
oops my bad "another weapon" not "other weapon"
daofao3 0
#163 ur like 10
MJs_lover4evr 0
I love you:]
peaceSUCKAh 0
#101 win!! haha
redshortsx 0
I only think this about Rihanna
123bdbutoyo 0
ok I made an account just to fkin tell u that u are a fkin bratt!!!! and my friend says "u r an idiot bioatch!!!"
elegantlywasted1 3
in Soviet Russia, sandwich makes you!
Drummer389000 0
**** you vlad. Maybe I should beat the **** out of you and steel your ******* purse you saggy titted ****. I'm a guy, and i'm not sexist you sonofabitch.
Hulking_out 0
#227 Only snookie deserves to be beaten.
mateo1991 0
Soooo...pull out your tampon, put in a fresh one and get back to work you overly sensative asswipe.
travis1228 1
win
gisii1988 0
lmao!! aM rolling over laughing at this!
KaileeCat 0
just to let you know I'm a girl and I think the sammich jokes are funny. but since you are a sammich maker you make me one my hands are tired. hahahaha
yvesofwinter 0
@135 do you work at subway?
newmanlyman3 8
ass holes
newmanlyman3 8
******!!!! that is sexist! so shut up. that is not fair
HeavyMetalHottie 0
well... im a young woman. not a defenseless one. two years ago a man by the pier tried to beat and rape me. muthafucka smelled like cigarette butts and jalapeno dip. he didnt get jack shit. i kicked his ******* teeth in. ladies... its time to rise against the monster that is domestic abuse. dont be anybody's punching bag. the only advise i can offer is to go for the eyes and the nuts.
ilovefatcats 12
yay ^..^ w
stiveg 0
You are retarded, it isn't sexist, it's a joke. Get that dick out of your ass.
alex105 0
bag I work at banjos
jimmythejuggalo 0
lol
murphman3000 0
calm down u over achevier it's just a joke
keefer 0
tranny
Nicksaysheyyy 0
200: asains aren't worth a sandwich in bed. bitch..
newmanlyman3 8
#167 shut yo ***** mouth when Billy maze is talking. I am a boy you sexist mother******* @$$ hole. son of a **** Fu** ing sexist **** SUCKER
My2864 1
he's right now i would never beat a girl but some do ask for it....
ARScratch 0
101 lmao!
Clochardounette_fml 0
ee 141# I am french and you don't spell Bagguets like that you spell it like that: Baguette...I am just saying ! Sorry if we are not talking about the same baguette !!
slimshadyy_fml 0
286- then it's fine to hit her because tht would be self defense. it's wen someone randomly hits someone else that it's domestic violence
sammieboo96 0
167- yur a stupid bitch. dont sayy that we have no use if we cant make a sandwhich. yur dumbb afff ! womenn are actually better than men in a lot of things soo shut thee **** up
al3x3940 0
true
Wirbelwind 2
so many negative posts
FYLDeep 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She should have made a sammich like she was told!
tyheron 0
agreed
eriinbaby 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
your my hero :)
kimuchi_warui 4
this line it's getting spool old.
Sindyy 0
that sammich line is so overused, and is getting so old.
FYLDeep 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Your mom is overused and getting old.
kimuchi_warui 4
wow, someone just turned twelve.
succubusprime 0
Let me guess, rwj? Gtfo newfag
FYLDeep 26
They didn't see the irony of using an even older and more overused line to make a point.
Sindyy 0
My mom died four years ago.
FYLDeep 26
Way too break up the awkwardness snick. Now, back to being assholes.
FYLDeep 26
#137 You must really take being an asshole seriously.
demonsoldier31 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that what u get for be a bitch!!! guy who mom died
VSOLORIO 0
your boyfriend should be beaten!!!!
tyheron 0
looks like your face allready beat him to it.
ipts 0
look at all the comments on the first post! wow
Shorty2592 0
Tbh the my mom died jokes getting old. Back to being a dick.
Bro_Namath 0
Still LMAO @ the ginger comment. It's sooo true
mikkel_natas 0
SYBIAN WIN!!!
KaileeCat 0
I use your mom jokes even if idk their mom is living. idc. if people take offense to someone saying your mom on the Internet then they need to stay off of it because they aren't getting sympathy.
KaileeCat 0
haha owned.
lexie09_fml 0
Ooh u better be on the lookout with ur actions!!
newmanlyman3 8
on fAce book there needs to be a slap button to slap the sexist ass
ameonna_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Um. It was a debate. The other person is supposed to present alternate views. Wtf did you expect? I mean really. Counter that.
sorcerersinger 0
well, I think he meant the partner on HIS team. it wouldn't be on FML if it was his opponent who said that. now you counter that.
ameonna_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yes. I read that. And while it's not a particularly clouds-part, angels-sing viewpoint, it's still hard to counter if presented correctly. Not that I agree of course, but I mean who can really successfully argue what a person does and doesn't deserve? "No woman ever deserves.. blah blah blah" is not really a sound or valid argument.
janise 2
If you can't argue they didn't deserve it then you certainly can't say they did deserve it. Therefore, his partner's argument was invalid and borderline moronic. Hence the FML.
956TXking 0
If you agree say I ............... I do
RuukasuNinja 0
well, we can't say she deserves a beating unless we know wether or not she was in the kitchen where she was supposed to be
Luckster 0
I already know I'm going to hate 95% of the comments on this one.
canyouwangchung 0
i'd say he's right.
Aussieprincess 7
Are you saying that women deserve to be beaten? WTF is wrong with you?
zac12345 0
beat the crap out of those dang australlians, especially the ones who act like princesses
aznpersuasion863 0
aha #23 and # 14 chill its just a joke
Aussieprincess 7
lol zac... bring it on lol
rosesareblue15 0
#35, it's not a joking matter. Have you ever been beaten? Then shut the **** up.
smartblondie 0
#333, what is wrong with you? Who gets to decide about if someone deserves to be beaten? In abusive partners' minds, the wives probably do. When would you justify hitting someone?
div01 2
ur sitting there telling me noone will ever do anything to deserve to get hit? we're all angels with no malice? it WAS eve who ate the apple...
smartblondie 0
That's just a stupid story invented by men (as in, males) meant to keep women in the past subordinate.
thepurpleorange 0
I totally agree with you..
Theresa Anne Menutes 7
No one deserves to be beaten, man or woman. Maybe people should just walk away. If you’re in a relationship that’s getting violent or you’re being violent you’re not in an okay relationship.
katelynnn20 0
What a douche. :l
MsNeverSingle 0
so u lost right?! lmao
starss 0
lmao that's horrible