Today, my husband is sulking because I wouldn't let him do what he's always wanted to do: throw our cat out the second floor window to see if she would land safely and on all fours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
Today, my cat jumped out a fourth-story window when I went to pet her. FML
Today, my husband scraped his shin while trying to pull down our window blinds. He screamed and shouted at me, because it was "all my fault." How? I opened the blinds the day before, and rolled them up "too high." I'm staying married despite all this toxicity. FML
Today, I was relaxing on the sofa with the cat purring on my lap. My husband blasted an air horn. I'm now covered in cat scratches and piss, from both myself and the cat. I'm going to skin him. FML
Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML
Today, after an argument with my husband, I was sat in the front room calming down when the stupid cat decided she was going to jump up onto me, spilling a full coffee cup over my husband's PS5. He's convinced I did it on purpose after the argument, when it really was all the damn cat's fault FML
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Top comments
writerchic85 26
Throw your husband out the window to test the theory
i_wuz_nver_here 31
This is why cats hate us...
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Comments (115)
awkwardngrateful 10
Talk to him about why not. Some men have shit for brains and refuse to try to understand logic. :)
worldclassrager 41
It looks like we have quite a few dog lovers with lets try it...come on people...a cat is a pet as well would you throw your dog out of a window to test the theory...I don't think so...
ToxicPlatypus 3
How odd, I thought 10 was considered too young for marriage in most countries. Are you sure your husband is old enough to take care of a pet... ? Seriously though, what a ridiculous thing to sulk about, and that's coming from someone who sulks about shit like gummy worms and pillows.
Bliepje 22
it will.... saw it happen (the stupid cat jumped), but there is no saying how bad it was injured on the inside.
GreekGleek6 22
Thank you OP for having a brain and nothing letting him abuse an innocent animal. True, a cat would probably survive but it would cause emotional issues asking with the chance that it could break is legs and cause joint issues in the future.
Jryan952015 7
Throw him out the second floor window and then tell him looks like your not smart enough to land right.
Richard6036 13
For one that's called animal abuse and two he sounds really immature and not very bright
nevereyes 31
You should keep him away from cats if he seriously wanted to do that.......
smoothies14 32
A good scientist will always test the hypothesis.
leogachi 15
@104 I doubt a scientist would feel the need to conduct that experiment. There's already plenty of research to tell him if a cat could safely land from that height.
Bragi 12
What's a cat good for, then, OP?